Betrayed
by sayyida jaida
Summary: Draco, Hermione, and Severus deal with their changing relationships after the events of HBP. Warning: this story includes graphic violence and nonconsensual sex.
1. Prologue

**I do not own the people, places, or really any of the references found in this work. It is all the property of JK Rowling and no profit is being made from it.**

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Betrayed. I felt betrayed. After the fiasco that occurred at Hogwarts which ended in Dumbledore's death, though not by my hand. My world fell apart, now that I didn't know who to turn to, and I began to question my entire life. Is there even hope for hope?

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The Dark Lord was looking at me. I could feel his red eyes glaring at me, at the back of my neck, which was the upper most part of my body. I was bowed to the floor, and shaking in fear. There was a time when I would have said that Malfoys don't ever shake in fear. I was wrong. In the last two days, since my Godfather and I had fled Hogwarts I had learned the meaning of fear.

I had, for the first time, felt the all consuming pain of the Cruciatus Curse. You learn a lot about yourself when you're being tortured. All the things that you say you'll never do or would do in a situation…it all becomes meaningless.

Grudgingly, I began to respect the people that I had witnessed before bearing the curse.

Even Potter.

God, I hate that. Potter. And I still hate him. But I am also beginning to respect someone who deals with this pain, and still keeps to their beliefs. Comes back for more. What was that ridiculous muggle phrase…oh yeah… 'takes a licking and keeps on ticking'…

"Rise."

I rose. What else could I do?

"I have not yet determined what your punishment will be. You will be escorted to a guest room…" and here he paused for effect… "until I decide what to do with you. Wormtail, escort the young Mr. Malfoy to a room."

Shaking and stumbling a bit, I allowed myself to be led away by the rat man.

The room we went to was small and smelled of dust and mold. But it was quiet. There were some blankets in a pile on the floor. Turning, Wormtail left me in the room, locking the door behind him. Alone at last, I collapsed onto the pile of ragged blankets. Cold, shaking, and alone…

Damn it, I'm a Malfoy.

I can't believe that I ever thought that I was doing the right thing, joining the Death Eaters. I mean, I still agree with the…politics…I think that Mudbloods are bad news and the wizarding world would be better off without them in it, but I am beginning to doubt the…sincerity of the Dark Lord.

It was a startling revelation for me. After all, I had been conceived, born, and raised amidst belief in the Dark Lord.

I don't know how long I lay in that room alone. I know I dosed off. After all, there had been multiple bouts with the curse. And other curses. I woke to the sound of footsteps in the corridor, and again I started shaking. God, had he decided on a punishment for me?


	2. The Refuge

**Again, all the parts you recognize belong to JKR.**

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Chapter 1 The Refuge

The footsteps stopped right outside the door, and the cold fear in the pit of my stomach began twisting like a snake. I could feel the beads of cold sweat as they broke out of my pores and began traveling down my skin, trickling down my back.

The door creaked open slowly, and a thin beam of light penetrated the darkness of the small room where I had been trapped. Slowly, the crack grew until I saw the tall figure robed in black. Cringing, I noticed the dour expression on the pale face of my old potions master.

"Draco, get up, and be silent" Snape's voice whispered to me.

Following his directions, I rose as quickly as I could, shivering in fear and cold. He walked over to me and pulled a sheet of silvery fabric from his robes which he swirled over my shoulders and drew the hood up.

I had never known that Snape had an invisibility cloak, but it didn't really surprise me, either. In fact, it explained how he could sneak about the school so well, scaring the hell out students in other houses. He put a hand on my head to determine if I was still where I had been standing.

"Don't move." And then he hit me on top of the head with his wand. I didn't hear what he said, nor even if he did say the spell aloud, since he is a master of silent magic, but it felt as if an egg, a really cold one, had been broken on top of my head, and was now seeping down my body in the same paths as my earlier outbreak of sweat.

"We need to get past the wards before we can apparate, so put a hand on my back or shoulder and don't remove it. I can't see or hear you, so I need to know where you are. Now follow me."

We went back through the door into the relatively bright hallway. It actually was fairly dim, but after the tiny, unlit, windowless room it seemed like a bright noon day.

I saw Wormtail slumped on the ground, and almost felt bad for him, knowing the torture he'd receive from the Dark Lord when it was found out that I was missing.

Snape tapped himself on the head then, and he also seemed to shimmer out of focus. Now I could see (or not see) why he wanted me to maintain physical contact.

We hurried down the steps as silently as we could and out a side door. Once outside, we set off as quickly as we could for the tree line in the distance which marked the edge of the wards. Feeling the tingle that meant we had pasted the boundaries of the wards, Snape turned around, facing me.

"All right, Draco, come close." I moved until I was standing next to him, at which point, Snape encircled my shoulders with an arm. "The home of Severus Snape can be found at 42 Spinner's End in Muggle London, across from the old textile factory," he whispered in my ear.

Before I knew what was happening, Snape's arm tightened around my should, and the sick squeezing feeling of side-along apparition began. After a moment of discomfort, the two of us arrived, stumbling, in a dark living room lined with shelf upon shelf of books.

Before I could move, Snape again tapped me on the head, and this time, it felt like a warm egg was broken and leaking down my body. He repeated the movement on himself, coming back into clear focus, before leaning over and pulling the cloak off me.

"Draco, take your wand. We have much to discuss, and not much time."

Snape was giving me my wand back, which I thought had been lost to me forever. I felt a lot safer once my wand was again resting in my pocket.

"Now, you can't stay here. I was to come here to get some books, but though it is Secret-Kept, the Dark Lord knows where it is. He will be looking for you. I don't think he'll suspect me, but he will check out all of the Inner Circle's properties that he knows of that are kept this way. You can't return to a Malfoy property, either."

Snape was pacing, clearly thinking hard. As he turned to pace the other direction, he chanced a glance out the window. Quickly, he hurried to the window, a small smile lighting his features. I had never seen that look on my Head of House before. "Perfect," he said.

Joining him at the window, I saw that not too far away was an old, run down building with boarded up windows. It looked like a good gust of wind would knock it over. It also had a sign in the front yard that said "For Sale."

It was certainly a measure of how desperate I was to escape the atrocities of last night that I agreed with him.

"Do you know how to perform the Fidelius Charm, Draco?"

"Yes, Professor, my father taught me some time ago. Many of the Malfoy ventures are protected by it."

"Good. Draco, I want you to perform it on me, for that property next door. I will then arrange for it to be purchased. You are to go there, and not leave. You are good at transfiguration; make it livable."

"Professor, what about food, and clothing, and things like that?"

"Nena!" With Snape's shout, a small house-elf popped into view. "Nena was a gift from your father, when I joined the Death Eaters," Snape said, looking at me, "and she has been a very good servant."

Turning to the elf, he continued, "Nena, I want you to accompany Draco here and help him. He is going to need a lot of help. He is going to be moving to that house, next door," here, Snape pointed through the window and the house-elf drew a deep and scared looking breath, "and he is going to be staying there for quite some time. You need to help him with the cooking and cleaning, and helping him make the place livable. He is not going to be leaving that house, so you, Nena, will be doing all the shopping. I trust you, Nena, with his life."

"Master, Nena will do what you asks. Nena will not be letting her Master down. Nena is a good elf!"

"I know, Nena, that's why I trusting you with this." Turning again to me, Snape looked at me sharply. "All right, Draco, cast the charm. That houses address is 44 Spinner's End. I believe we shall call it The Refuge."

Taking a deep breath, much as the elf had done, I proceeded to make Severus Snape my Secret-Keeper.

"Good. Now, take this," here Snape handed me a box of Muggle tissues, "and get over there. Use those to transfigure what you need. When I have the ability to come here, I will summon Nena, and if it's safe, she will summon you. Nena, for the time being, I think you should also maintain your presence at Hogwarts."

"Yes, Master. I will be doing what you asks."

And with that, Snape grabbed a couple of books from a shelf and a bag of potions ingredients and apparated away.

"Come along then, Nena; let's see what we have to work with."

The place, The Refuge, was as decrepit on the inside as I had feared based on the outside.

Cobwebs and dust were abundant, but there was no furniture. Nena and I took a walk around, finding in the process the restroom, the kitchen, several bedrooms, an old fashioned parlor or library with empty shelves built into the walls, a dining room, and a pantry. They were all empty.

"Well, Nena, you are the expert on cleaning. How shall we proceed?" While I didn't usually treat house-elves as my equal, I hadn't missed the tone that Snape used with Nena. She wasn't my elf, and I was willing to admit, at least to myself, that I would be lost without her. So…nice it was.

"Master, I will be doing the cleaning. It won't take long to get the dust and cobwebs clean, sir, since there is no furniture to clean around."

"Alright, then, you clean. I'll wait until you finish and start turning these," here I shook the box of tissues, "into furnishings."

I developed a whole new appreciation for House-Elves that day, watching Nena clean.

It took a surprisingly short time for us to make the Refuge livable. While not, by any stretch, up to the standards of the Manor, or even of Hogwarts, my idea of livable had been affected by my time locked in a room with a pile of moldy blankets, and so, I was much easier to please than I would normally have been.

After a few days of hard work, Nena and I settled in to wait and see what the future would hold.


	3. The Search

The Search

Snape's Point of View

I returned to Riddle Manor as quickly as I could and went directly to the lab which had been set up for me. Unpacking the bag of ingredients I had grabbed from my home, I spread the pre-cut herbs out to look like I had been working for some time. I couldn't help but muse that I really am a genius, to have had it all prepared on the remotest possibility that I would have the chance to get Draco out of here.

Within moments, the prepared ingredients were mixed and the potion was put to simmering, making it seem that the Potions master had been hard at work for an hour. And it wasn't a moment to soon, as I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Snape, the Master needs you."

I looked up with a raised eyebrow in response to see the once lush form of Bellatrix Black Lestrange glaring at me. I realized yet again how unkind Azkaban had been to Bellatrix.

With a sigh, I muttered a _stasis_ charm on the cauldron. "Coming, Bellatrix." Gathering my wand, I followed the witch up the stairs, down a long hall, and into the presence of my supposed Lord and Master, Lord Voldemort.

Once I came fully into the room, I noticed Wormtail was on the floor, bleeding and shaking. Apparently, Draco had been missed, and his absence was not going unnoticed or ignored. For a moment, I almost felt sorry for Wormtail.

With three quick strides, I approached the Dark Lord's seated figure. Kneeling quickly, I kissed the hem of his robe and murmured, "Master."

"Severus. Did we disturb your work?"

"No, Master, you are never a disruption. How can I serve you, Master?"

"Look at me."

I looked up into the red eyes of the Dark Lord and felt the once-man gently probing my mind. Carefully, I concentrated on my trip home to get the books, looking at the shelves, talking to my house-elf, and the Apparition back. I thought about the potion I was making in the basement of the house, about my quarters at Hogwarts and the comfortable bed there. I thought about my need for a decent cup of coffee, and how long it had been since I was with a willing woman. Finally, I thought about my hatred for Potter and the look on Potter's face when he had accosted me after Dumbledore was dead.

Finally, the gentle probing ceased.

"Severus, Draco is gone. Wormtail was standing guard on him, and when I sent Bellatrix to fetch the boy for his punishment, the room that he was locked in was empty. His wand is also gone from Wormtail's person, where he had it. Wormtail has been punished for his…indiscretions."

"Master, what would you have me do?"

"The problem, Severus, with having to punish Draco, and with the situation I now find myself in, is that there is a surfeit of candidates for this treason."

"Master, I don't know why anyone would go against your wishes in this."

"Ah, Severus, so naïve. While the most obvious candidate is in Azkaban, we cannot discount the boy's mother, so we will have to find Narcissa, and see if she knows the boy's whereabouts. I have already questioned Bellatrix, who is after all his aunt, and she knows nothing. I thought you were also a likely candidate, since you have already saved the boy's hide once. There are many who owe Lucius a favor, too. If it were anything but going directly against my will, I would not be surprised by this desire of my followers to try and align themselves with power. But as it stands, this is not to be tolerated.

"Therefore, since I have ascertained that you and Bellatrix were not involved with this, you will go to the homes of each of the inner circle together, and search for the boy."

With that imperative, I bowed my head again. "Yes, Master. We will go and search for the boy. Master, I am sure you realize that it is unlikely we shall find him in the home of one of your inner circle."

"Yes, Severus, I have already considered this. But I cannot leave this stone unturned. Some of our inner circle are less than…genius."

"Yes, Master. We will leave immediately."

I stood slowly and left, Bellatrix right behind me.

I went up the main flight of stairs to my small room and grabbed my warmest cloak.

Bellatrix had done the same.

"So, where shall we start?" I asked in my most courteous voice.

"Why, your home, of course, Severus."

"As you wish, Bellatrix." And with that, I offered her my arm and proceeded to escort her from the house and into the woods.

Arriving in my home for the second time that night, I was struck by a feeling of relief that Draco and I had gotten so much done so quickly.

"I am not going to search my own home, Bellatrix. I'll leave that in your capable hands."

"I would expect nothing less from you, Severus."

Nodding to her, I sat down in a wingback chair and proceeded to read, waiting while she poked her nose into every nook and cranny of my admittedly shabby, though book-filled, home.

After about half an hour, Bellatrix again joined me in the study.

"Well, Severus, it seems you were telling the truth. I believe our next stop should be Malfoy Manor."

"Agreed. Ready?" I asked, standing and marking my place in the book in one fluid movement. I laid the book on the chair, grabbed my cloak.

"Indeed." A moment later she was gone, and a moment after that I followed her.

We arrived at the gates, Malfoy Manor looming in the distance. With a brisk stride, we set out up the path to the monstrosity of a home.

After knocking on the door, it didn't take long for a house-elf to appear.

"Is my sister here?" Bellatrix asked the shaken elf.

"Come in, Missus, Master. Bippy will be getting the Mistress.

"Hurry, elf."

With that, the elf disappeared, presumably to alert Narcissa to her guests.

It was only a minute or two before she appeared on the stairs.

"Cissa."

"Bella. Severus. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Draco is missing. Our Lord has given orders for us to find him," I answered her.

At these words, Narcissa paled. I had never before thought it possible for her to loose more color, but in that moment she went from pale to a ghostly translucence.

"Draco is not here," she answered her sister's unspoken question, passed through the arcane way that some sisters have.

"Cissa, we have to search the manor. It won't take long," Bella announced.

At this, I turned to Bellatrix. "Together, or separate?"

"Oh, together, Severus. I still don't entirely trust you."

"It's only fair, Bellatrix, as I don't trust you, either. You are, after all, the boy's aunt."

"I would never betray our Lord, though."

"Are you saying I would?"

She didn't answer me, although she also didn't look me in the eye. Interesting.

"Lead on, then, Bellatrix. Let's get this over with. I want to get back to my potion." I realized, though, that this was going to take forever. We had about a dozen homes to search like this, and these were huge homes. "You do realize this is fairly pointless, don't you? It's not likely that he would be hidden in a main residence like this, or if he was, that he would stay once we knock on the door."

"Perhaps, Snape. But I am going to follow the Master's orders."

"So am I. I was just pointing out that this is fairly futile."

With a grim nod, the two of us began a long night of searching.

When I accepted this task, I had no real idea of what it would entail, and I would like to think the same could be said for Bellatrix. Searching the Malfoy Manor took hours. I had seriously underestimated the amount of space in the mansion, the miles of corridors, not to mention the number of dark artifacts that the Malfoy family had collected over the centuries. Artifacts they had collected and protected with traps. Needless to say, the searching was a slow process.

After completing Malfoy Manor, Bellatrix and I moved on to the next home of an inner circle member, Augustus Rookwood. As neither Bellatrix nor I had any personal ties to the Rookwood family, we agreed that it was in the best interests of the search to split up. After several hours, we met again in the entrance hall, exclaimed over our lack of findings, and moved on to the next manor on the list.

Thus the pattern was set. The homes of those Bellatrix or I had some personal connection to, we searched together. For those that neither of us had ties with, we split up. One night stretched into two and no results were forthcoming.

After two days and two nights of searching, we could finally admit defeat and return to the side of the Dark Lord. He wouldn't be happy, but we had been thorough.

To say that the Dark Lord was unhappy was an understatement. Fortunately, I did not bare the brunt of his anger. That was entirely Wormtail. I was also fortunate that the successful (in a way) completion of my assignment allowed me some time alone. After catching up on my sleep, I sequestered myself in the Potions lab, and began brewing and plotting.

I knew that the reason Dumbledore had wanted me to continue this farce was because it was the only way I could continue to be useful to the Order. But we hadn't finished planning how to let the Order know that I had been acting under his instructions. Now, no one knew the full story.

That wouldn't work. Some one had to know the whole story or my sacrifice and Dumbledore's would be worthless.

Suddenly, I had an inspiration. I knew what I had to do.

Putting a _stasis_ charm on the current potion, I headed back up to the inhabited parts of the old Riddle House, and sought an audience with the Dark Lord.

"Rise, Severus."

Standing up, I made sure to make eye contact, so that he would be able to verify my words without being too obvious.

"Master, I wish to discuss my research with you. I believe I need to return to my home for a day or so to double check some theories in the library available to me there."

"Severus, remind me of what you are working on again."

"Yes, Master. I am attempting to combine a Blood Replenishing Draught with a strong pain killing potion and a stimulant potion. It is my thought that the combination would allow your Death Eaters to be nearly invincible in battle. Most of the curses the Aurors have been using lately have been slicing charms. They are not fatal, but bloody. The Blood Replenishing Draught has some nasty side effects and is very painful to use. I am trying to alter it so that it does not make one feel as though the entire circulatory system were on fire. But I need to have access to my books. You have seen my memories of my home; you know that Spinner's End is where I have kept my real library all these years. I am asking your permission to go there on and off for a time."

"Yes, I can see how this would be useful to my forces in the coming days. Do what you can to make it come to pass. I will Call you if I need you."

"Thank you, Master."

"Your desire to help your Brothers and Sisters becomes you, Severus. You may leave."

Gratefully, I left. Moving quickly, lest I have to offer any explanations to my so called Brothers and Sisters, I went beyond the wards and Apparated away.

Arriving yet again at my once despised Muggle home, I set out to put my thoughts in letter form for one special person. The only person I thought might, based on our years together, give me a fair hearing.

_Minerva,_

_It is with great sadness that I pen this letter, something I had never hoped to have to do, for it means that the plans that I had hated from their conception have come to pass._

_I am counting on you, now, to be the person who knows the full tale, the complete circumstances, and to act justly. You have to have wondered in this last week how the abomination that occurred so recently came to be. The full story. For surly you do not have such a complete lack of faith in Albus and in myself that you would think that the reported stories were the full and complete truth. We have worked to long and to hard for you not to know the truth that was and the truth that will still come._

_Minerva, I am counting on your innate sense of fairness to judge me only after you have all the facts. And if you still find me reprehensible, that is your choice. I find myself reprehensible. But you have to know why._

_To that end, I am entrusting you a secret. Locked in the cabinet in Albus' bedroom that is hidden under the white lace table covering and that supports Fawkes' perch is a set of vials that contain the memories of both Albus and me that were too dangerous to stay in our heads. It contains our conversations about the Dark Lord and the Vow that I was placed under. Those with a red cap are from his perspective; those with a green cap are from mine. I entrust them both to you. They explain everything._

_If you wish to communicate with me, please leave a letter, sealed, in the Potions storeroom on top of the tall cabinet that holds the ingredients that begin with E-L. I will receive it._

_I remain,_

_Your Faithful Servant in the Light,_

_Severus Snape_

I closed and sealed the letter. "Nena!" I called my house elf.

It was only a moment before she popped into existence under my nose.

"Yes, Master? How can Nena be serving you, Master?"

"Nena, I am so glad that you are so reliable." She looked bashful and pleased at this. "I have three tasks for you, Nena."

At this news she was bouncing in excitement. Usually I was fairly self-sufficient, and I knew she had always felt unappreciated. I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.

"First, I need you to take this letter, and put it somewhere where Minerva McGonagall will find it soon, on her desk or her pillow perhaps. For your second task, I want you to get Draco and bring him here to the lab in the basement and then wait up here so that if someone comes you can make a lot of noise and he can Apparate away. Your third task is going to be to check the top of the cabinet in the Potions storeroom at Hogwarts that holds the ingredients that begin with E through L. If Minerva chooses to reply, she is to leave a letter for me there. You will check at least once a day every day. If you find a letter, take it to Draco, but tell him not to open it. For the time being, I should be coming back and forth a lot.

"Can you do all of that for me?"

"Yes, Master, Nena can do all of that! Nena will start now!"

And just like that, she was gone.

With a sigh, I collected the book I had been reading when Bellatrix searched my home and went with it to my lab in the basement. Settling into a comfortable chair, I prepared to wait.

I didn't have to wait long until Draco arrived. I heard his voice calling from the study, "Professor Snape?"

"Down here in the lab, Draco," I called back. I heard his footsteps on the stairs before he came bursting into the room.

"Professor Snape, is everything alright? He hasn't found me, has he?"

"No, Draco, he still does not know who helped you. He had your aunt, Bellatrix, and I search all the houses of the inner circle for you, and he punished Wormtail extensively, but he has no idea where you are.

"On another topic, please refrain from calling me Professor Snape. I am no longer your professor, and I will likely never be one again. I am your Godfather, and your friend. Please call me Severus." I noticed during this speech, the boy's mouth had dropped open.

He hurriedly shut it before he replied. "Thank you, Severus. Thank you for helping me, and for trusting me, and for being a friend."

"Alright. So, tell me, Draco, how have you been fairing? Has Nena gotten everything you needed? Are you fed, and as comfortable as you could be under the situation?"

"Yes, Severus, I am. I'm bored and lonely, but then, I won't die of boredom or loneliness. I will die of the Dark Lord. So I'll take what I have."

"I am going to have a set of Potions ingredients sent to you through Nena. I want you to continue your studies to keep you from boredom. Also, I am waiting for a letter. Nena will bring it to you. Do not open it. Its contents will be dangerous for you to know. Keep it safe for me until I get a chance to see you again. I should be coming back and forth regularly for a while. I am working on a new potion and need to do research."

"You have my word. I'm glad you'll be coming back and forth. Can I help with the research?"

"Hmmm, yes, I think so." I got up and began pulling some new books off the shelves. "Take these with you to the Refuge. I won't have time to read them all. Takes notes on anything that has to do with blood replenishment. Either the current Draught or anything else that works like it but has fallen out of favor. I am trying to find a potion that will do the work of the Blood Replenishing Draught without making your veins feel like they are on fire."

"I look forward to the mental stimulation," Draco said with a half-smile.

Just then, I heard noise upstairs. "Quick, Apparate to the Refuge!"

I didn't have to tell him twice, he was gone before Bellatrix had made it completely out of the fire upstairs. I would have to think of a way to reward Nena.

"Severus?" Bellatrix's voice called.

"Down here in the lab," I answered.

Once again she found me in the lab. Still standing on the stairs and not entering the room fully, she began to speak, "The Master sent me to tell you that he would be calling a meeting tonight, and that you should be prepared to talk about what you know with the boy."

"Thank you for letting me know, Bellatrix."

And with that she left.

It was around midnight when I once again felt my Mark burn, calling me to the Dark Lord's side.

I quickly returned to Death Eater Central and grabbed my robes from my room, dressed hurriedly and all but ran to my place in the circle.

Wormtail was missing. That could mean nothing, or everything.

When all the members he had Called had arrived, the Dark Lord began to speak.

"My Death Eaters, there have been some upsetting things happening lately. Someone is a traitor, willing to risk my wrath to save the insignificant skin of an unproven boy. I will find out who has done this.

"In the meantime, the boy's father has spent enough time in Azkaban. Our Servants do us no good when they are locked away. Bellatrix, you and Rookwood will be going and getting him out. Assemble a team you will lead, and take care of it."

"My Lord, can we add whomever we wish to the team?" Bellatrix asked. I didn't miss her glance at me. I can't help but wonder why she has it in for me.

"No, Bellatrix. You may take whomever from the lower circles you want, but no one else from this group. If you make any mistakes, I will need enough Generals to get you out."

I quietly hid my sigh of relief behind my mask.

"The two of you may leave to begin your planning. I need it accomplished within a week. Do not delay or fail me."

The two he had singled out for his honor bent and kissed his hem before leaving to begin their plotting.

Once the doors had shut behind them, he told his assembled "generals" what had happened with Draco and Wormtail. Most of them already knew the basics since their homes had been searched. I briefly explained how the search had been conducted and that the boy had not been found.

At length, the meeting was over, and we were allowed to leave. I slowly made my way back to my rooms, wondering if and how I could warn the Order that Lucius was going to be broken out. After much mulling, I realized that it would tip my hand to much, especially since I hadn't heard anything back from Minerva yet. I would have to work out details on how I could communicate with the Order. I just hoped that Minerva would be Gryffindor enough to have a sense of justice, but balanced her Gryffindor nature enough to not rush.

That night, I again had trouble sleeping, thinking about what I had given up for the cause.


	4. The Letter

Once again, not mine…

The Letter

Minerva's Point of View

What a long day. Cleaning up after disasters is never fun, but when the disaster is the death of a friend, a confidant, someone I thought of as eternal, well, cleaning up after that kind of disaster was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Walking into my chambers after a long and tiring day, I noticed a roll of parchment on my pillow. Odd, I know it wasn't there when I left this morning.

Picking up the parchment, I notice it bares a handwriting I thought to never see again.

Snape!

How did he get something into my chambers?

Hurriedly, I unfurl the letter, hoping to read the words that I will make sense of the terrible loss we are all feeling. And yet I'm afraid to hope, lest my spirit be dashed upon the rocks again. I have been strong for the children, for the community, and for the Order. Here, in the privacy of my own rooms, I weep.

Reading through his letter, I feel as though my hopes and courage have been given wings. There is nothing in the world I love so much as understanding a puzzle. The memories he mentions are like water in the desert of my despair. For once, I don't even notice the tears making tracks down my face.

In my rush to get to Albus' chambers which are still undisturbed after recent events, I barely notice the house elf that has come with tea. "Leave it there for me, Nena. I'll be back for it later."

"Yes, Professor." She smiles at me, seeming happier than usual, but that could be a spill over of my own elation.

As I enter Albus' rooms, though, my depression returns. Albus and I had been close. He had been one of my professors at Hogwarts, and I had taught under him for 37 years.

It was but a moment before I opened the cabinet under Fawkes' perch, taking out a rack of vials that were clearly memories.

Returning to the Headmaster's Office, I took out Albus' Pensieve and proceeded to loose myself in the memories of my friends. Carefully, I looked through the memories of plans, of triumphs and failures, of all the pain that both of those courageous men had suffered. In that moment I knew why Albus had always trusted Severus. And I knew how broken slaying Albus must have made Severus. Decision made, I continued on to my next task.

I all but ran to the dungeons and the Potions store room. On Severus' desk I spy what I need, a quill and parchment, so I decide to sit at his desk to pen my reply.

Severus,

Today has been a revelation for me, and it has caused me to reconsider some of the methods we have employed in the past. Not the least of which is having only one person privy to the most closely guarded information. That will be changing. To that end, I am appointing myself an assistant. She will need to meet with you in person. I will arrange for her to be in room seven of the Leaky Cauldron on Saturday after 4 pm. I realize that your time is not your own. So she will remain in her room from 4 in the afternoon Saturday until 4 in the afternoon on Sunday, leaving only for meals in the common room.

It will be up to the two of you to work out the details of communication.

If this is acceptable, please send a note in the same method as the last one, and I will make the arrangements.

Severus, take care of your self. We need you, and believe it or not, we care about you. That was the worst part of what happened, the feeling of betrayal from someone we trusted.

Gods willing, I will see you on the other side.

MM

Folding the parchment, I pressed my wand into the wax to seal it and placed it on the cabinet as he had instructed.

Then, clearing away the mess I had made, I left the dungeons to return to the warmth of Gryffindor Tower. I didn't notice the small elf taking the letter and leaving to deliver it.

When I returned to the tower I placed a floo call to Headquarters.

"Hermione?" I called into the library.

"Professor McGonagall?" I heard her voice answer from the other side of the couch.

"Oh, thank goodness I found you so quickly. Could you step through, please, Hermione. I have some things I need to discuss with you and show you. I have a job for you. A job that I cannot entrust to anyone else, including Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley."

"Of course, Professor. I'll be right through." I pulled my head out of the flames and stepped back to give her room to come through.

Within a moment, my fire turned green again and through stepped the small form of my favorite student.

"Hermione. Please, sit down. Would you like some tea?"

"That would be lovely, Professor McGonagall."

"Hermione, it has come to my attention that you and the boys are not planning to return to Hogwarts in the fall. Is this true?"

For a moment, Hermione would not look me in the eyes. Then, seizing her courage, she looked up defiantly, and said, "Yes, Professor, that is correct. We have another mission to focus on."

"Hermione, while it saddens me to think that you will not be completing your education here at Hogwarts, you know as well as I do that you could take your Newts tomorrow, and get the highest score in a century. I am not asking to pressure you to return." I paused, noting her puzzled look. "No dear, I was being quite serious when I told you I had a task that only you could do."

"Professor, perhaps you could explain what this task is?"

"Of course, dear. First, I want Madame Marchbanks to administer you Newts. I want you to be a fully qualified witch, no matter what. Harry and Ron can take them when they are ready. Secondly, I wish to make you my assistant with Order business. I have realized the folly of Albus' need to not share his information. If something should happen to me, someone else needs to know everything that has been going on so that the Order does not waste time on accusations. Someone who is equally free to act in the outside world. I have recently been directed towards Albus' memories of the more dangerous conversations he has had in the course of running the Order. Without these memories, many things did not make sense. I wish to share them with you, and have you be my contact person outside of these walls. Tonks is too busy being an Auror. Molly has too many other responsibilities, as do any of my other choices. Harry has too volatile a temper, as does Ron. You are the only and best choice. I know it will mean no being able to participate with Harry's quest, which I don't know all the details of. But, Hermione, you can help him with research, and you would be contributing so much to the cause. Of course, you cannot discuss this with anyone. No one can know the information you would hold. Do you need time to make a decision?"

It was a long speech, but Hermione was brilliant. I knew she would be able to follow along and process everything I was telling her and everything I wasn't. I was asking her to make a sacrifice, in a way, but also for the only cause she cared about. Justice. She was, after all, a Gryffindor like myself.

Taking a deep breath, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "Yes, Professor McGonagall, I will do whatever is needed for the Order."

I felt my breath and tension escape me in a rush. "Hermione, since you are no longer a student, I think you should call me Minerva."

"Thank you, Minerva, for your confidence in me. How shall I begin?"

"Begin by getting some sleep. I will arrange for you to take your Newts beginning tomorrow. Be here by 9 in the morning."

"All right. I'll see you tomorrow, Prof…err…Minerva."

And with that, she threw a pinch of powder in the flames and returned to Headquarters. Realizing that I would have a very busy day tomorrow, I went to bed. As I was slipping under the covers, I realized for the first time since Albus was killed, that I was looking forward to sleep and had new hope for the future.

Snape's Point of View

The next morning I awoke early and decided to use the Dark Lord's permission and do some research in Spinner's End. Leaving the confines of Riddle Manor, I hurried to my home in Muggle London.

Upon entering, I called out, "Nena!" for the house elf. Moments later she arrived.

"Master! Nena has a letter for Master. Nena was going to give it to Master Draco like Master said, but he was asleep when Nena got back to the Refuge. So I have it right here for you Master." At this, the little elf held out a scroll of parchment sealed with an intertwined MM.

With a sign of relief, I took the scroll, broke the seal, and quickly read the letter.

For once I was glad that Minerva was a Gryffindor to the core, willing to always consider fairness and justice as the most important things in the universe. I spent some time wondering who she would send to me. Minerva had called her "she" so that left only a few Order members. Most of the active Order members were men, after all. It couldn't be Arabella since she's a squib. I figured the most likely candidates were Molly and Tonks. I sincerely hoped for Tonks. Molly is too full of righteous wrath to be reasonable on most occasions. Tonks, for all her clumsiness, is capable.

Saturday, though, was coming up quickly. I would have to find a disguise. After all, a wanted man like me couldn't just stroll into the Leaky Cauldron, although I did have the invisibility cloak. That would probably be the best choice.

Quickly, I penned a reply and sent it with Nena.

Hermione's Point of View

I returned to Headquarters after that strange conversation with Pro…Minerva not sure what I was getting myself into. But Minerva seemed convinced that it was necessary. I had trusted Minerva for 6 years, and she had never led me wrong. So I would trust her in this, too.

I was getting ready for bed when I realized that at 9 the next morning I would begin sitting my Newts. Oh My God!

But as soon as I began to feel myself panic, I realized that I didn't need to. For the first time, I saw taking my Newts not as an affirmation of my place in the Wizarding world, but as a means to an end. I would pass, that was all that was important. Quite a revelation; Harry and Ron would be proud.

Harry and Ron! Well, I had been sworn to not tell. I would verify with Minerva tomorrow what I could and couldn't tell them. It would keep.

Deciding I needed a good nights sleep; I lay down in the bed and practiced some mental exercises to fall asleep quickly.

I awoke the next morning and headed down for some breakfast. Harry and Ron were both up and sitting at the table, bowls of oatmeal in front of them.

"Hey, guys."

"Hermione. Where were you last night?" asked Harry.

"I was at Hogwarts, talking to Professor McGonagall. In fact, I'm going back today to do some research. I think I may be staying there all week."

"Oh? Well, would you like us to come, too?" Ron asked.

"Um, no, that's OK. You don't much care for the library. Now that we aren't going to be students, I am going to search the Restricted Section for information on Horcruxes, and how to destroy them. Professor McGonagall also mentioned that I may be able to take my Newts early, since we won't be returning to school in the fall. She said she would try and arrange them. For you guys, too, when you're ready. After all this is over, I assume."

"Hermione, when this is over, I hope to play Quidditch. I want a break," Harry said, looking at his bowl of oatmeal. Ron was vigorously nodding in agreement.

"Yes, well, I think the world will understand that. I'm off. I'll owl you if I'm going to be there at nights, but you should probably assume I will be."

"All right, we'll see you later, then. And if McGonagall got them arranged good luck on your Newts. Frankly, I can't believe how…calm…you are about that," Harry was smiling at me.

"Thanks. I'll see you later," I decided not to touch on his comments about my nerves, or lack thereof.

With that, I got up and headed to my room, gathered clothing to last a week, just in case I was there that long, and Apparated to the school gates.

Seeing Hogwarts so soon after leaving made me feel like a student again, even though I knew I was coming to take exams that would forever end my status as a student.

Going inside I ran into Filch, who was cleaning the entrance hall.

"Back again?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm here to see Minerva. Can you tell me where I might find her?"

"Like as not she's in her office. You know where that is?"

"Yes, Mr. Filch. Good day."

I left him there, staring after me. I realized I may have been the first Gryffindor to call him Mr. It's a sad thought.

I headed as quickly as I could to Minerva's office. I had been there on numerous occasions, after all. Some good, some bad. But enough, over the years, to never forget how to get there.

Arriving at her office, I found the door open and Minerva and the elderly Madame Marchbanks seated inside.

Minerva must have caught the movement outside of her door, for she called out, "Hermione! Come in! Madame Marchbanks, this is Hermione Granger, the student we were discussing. Hermione, are you ready? Madame Marchbanks has agreed to administer your Newts."

"Madame Marchbanks, thank you so much for agreeing to this. Yes, Profess…Minerva, I am ready."

"Miss Granger, we will be administering the tests in Minerva's classroom. I have a few things I would like to discuss with you," Madame Marchbanks, for all her apparent age, was still fit and mentally quick. It was clear she had not been told who she would be testing from her abrupt start of surprise at my name, but equally clear that she recognized it and my…relationships with Harry. It was also clear that she agreed with the need for my testing. I had to wonder if she was an Order member of some kind.

"All right. I appreciate your time in testing only me, so I will do whatever I can to accommodate you."

"Well, Miss Granger, since we are only testing you we will be following a somewhat different format. While you can take up to the time limit to complete your tests, if you finish early, we will go on to the next test. We don't have to wait for your classmates. Therefore, I goal is to complete all of your Newts by Friday. I realize you are taking more than most students, but given what I know of you, this should still be doable."

"I'll head down to the classroom now, then. Minerva, will we be having lunch in the Great Hall?"

"Yes, I believe so. Good luck, Hermione, I'll see you at lunch time."

And with that I calmly left to walk to the Transfiguration classroom right down the hall. A few minutes later, Madame Marchbanks joined me and closed the door, and my testing began.

By noon of Friday I was exhausted, but finished. I had completed Newts in Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, Potions, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes. Had I completed my seventh year of studies, I may have tried for more, but those were the important ones, the subjects I had enjoyed. After lunch in the Great Hall with Minerva, Madame Marchbanks, and the other professors who remained at school over the break, I shook the examiner's hand and thanked her again for testing me.

"Madame, I really appreciate your taking the trouble to come back to Hogwarts and test me alone."

"Miss Granger, it was a pleasure. You are quite a brilliant witch. I dare say I learned something from working with you on your tests, and I have been doing this nigh on a century. Well, Minerva, thank you for your hospitality and the opportunity to meet Miss Granger. Good luck in the coming year. Portus." Without warning, she activated her portkey and left Minerva and I alone in the Great Hall.

"Well, Hermione, it's finished. You are officially not a student any longer. Would you like a nap, or are you ready for your next task?"

"I'm ready."

I struggled out of the Pensieve one more time, to sit silently for a moment processing what I had just witnessed. Minerva watched me, a look of understanding on her face.

"Dear God. If you hadn't found those memories…we would have never known. I understand now, why you want someone else to know everything, just in case…"

"Yes. You understand now. You understand just how crucial your role will be. And why I can't let you wander around after Harry. Help him research, yes. But not go on some of his escapades. And it has to be you. Molly is not of the correct temperament, nor is Ron or any of his siblings. Harry has enough on his plate. Tonks, too with being an Auror, and really all the rest of the Aurors in the Order. Besides, spending that much time at the Ministry would be a risk. Lupin's a werewolf, and so his word would be meaningless. Moody, besides being an Auror is to set in his ways. Dung is…untrustworthy. In the extreme…"

"Minerva, you don't have to explain more. Although I will be seen as a child by the people at the Ministry, and a Mudblood by most of them, too."

"You have more credibility than you know. Madame Marchbanks was impressed. You took your Newts a year early, and you did well. Madame Marchbanks' opinion carries a lot of weight. And she talks. People will respect you. I think it's likely you'll get quite a few job offers when word of this accomplishment gets out."

"So, Minerva, what is the plan? I assume you want me to contact Severus in some way."

"Yes that is exactly what I want you to do. You will be going tomorrow to the Leaky Cauldron. Tom is going to put you in room 7. You are to stay there until 4 pm on Sunday. Severus is going to try and get away and meet you there. You can take meals in the Common Room, but otherwise, take some books and stay in the room."

"So I can spend the night tonight with the boys at Headquarters, and Apparate there in the morning?"

"Yes, that would be fine. Now about what to tell the boys. I want you to tell them you are working for me directly as my assistant. That I realized I needed help in keeping things organized and all functioning smoothly and that you were the best choice. You can give them the reasons I eliminated the others if they press you. Tell them that you cannot discuss the details, and they can talk to me if they have a problem with that. And tell them that it is too dangerous for you to go with them on their adventures, but that you will be doing all of the research, so that if something does happen, again, someone is there to pick up the pieces."

"Ok. If they don't buy it, I'll play on their notions of what girls shouldn't do. Usually they drive me crazy with their need to be protective of me, but this time it may work in my favor."

"Ah, Hermione, what are two Gryffindors like us doing plotting all this deviousness?"

"I don't know, but it's a good thing we only have to fool other Gryffindors!"

"Look, guys, nothing will keep me from your side when the time comes. It's the other trips that you don't need me for. Can't you see that your talents are fighting and mine are researching? The advice that Crouch, Jr. gave Harry about playing to your strengths still holds. Someone needs to be the know-it-all, the just-in-case so that if the unthinkable happens, the next group doesn't have to start from scratch!"

"I understand, Hermione. It just seems strange to not have you there with us."

"Harry, when you go to face him, I will be there. But someone has to stay behind for the rest of it, to make sure things are not over looked. Professor McGonagall thinks that I am best suited to that task, and she had lots of reasons…"

"Harry," Ron interrupted me, "we are going to be doing some really dangerous stuff. I think this is for the best." His eyes looked me over once, and I realized he had figured out my back-up plan. I always did tend to underestimate Ron's grip on strategy. But it seemed he agreed, this time, and was on my side.

"All right, I give. Just be careful, Hermione, I couldn't bare to loose you."

"Harry, that's the point. You're going to be in much greater danger."

"Oh…OH!" The light went on in Harry's eyes as he finally caught on to my implications.

Shaking my head in exasperation, I began to fix dinner.

That evening, as we were sitting at dinner, we received a floo call from Professor McGonagall.

"Is there anyone there?" her voice rang out from the fire place.

"We all are," Harry answered her.

"Harry, we need to call an emergency Order meeting. Lucius Malfoy has broken out of Azkaban."

"We'll have the room ready," he answered, his voice steady even if his face was pale.

As Ron and I cleaned up the kitchen, Harry began assembling chairs and drinks. One by one, the Order members began Apparating in.

That night Harry, Ron, and I were officially made members of the Order of the Phoenix.


	5. Meeting

Still not mine.

**Meeting**

* * *

**Snape's Point of View**

Lucius' return from Azkaban sent a frisson of excitement through the ranks of the Death Eaters. He was welcomed back with torture for having failed the Dark Lord and ending up in prison, but welcomed back all the same. Once the Dark Lord was through with him, he released him into Narcissa's care. She was going to take him to one of the other Malfoy properties, since the Manor would no doubt be visited by forces from the Ministry in the near future. I knew that with Lucius' escape, my mission to meet up with whomever Minerva was sending would be more perilous than I had originally anticipated, with more Aurors out searching.

The invisibility cloak alone would not suffice. There were too many people (like Moody) who could see through them. With a sigh, I realized it was time to resort to the charms that altered physical appearance. People who could penetrate the cloak would not bother with the charms underneath.

I had been a spy for a long time, but never before had there been so many things that could go wrong.

Waking up the next morning, I began my preparations by charming my most salient feature, my nose. My hair and eyes were also changed from their natural black to light brown and hazel. A potion to temporarily increase the melanin in my skin made me appear tan. Looking in a mirror, I didn't recognize myself. Grabbing my invisibility cloak, I Apparated directly to my home in Spinner's End, where I changed into casual clothing of a Muggle nature, with a wool cloak over that for warmth. Once changed, I glanced at the clock on the mantel. It was a little after 2 in the afternoon. I decided to head to Diagon Alley and get some potions ingredients that were missing from the stores here before I was to meet whomever Minerva sent.

* * *

**Hermione's Point of View**

I awoke wondering what the day, our first day as Order members, would hold. I was going to be contributing, officially. Minerva had announced at the meeting last night when Harry, Ron, and I were inducted into the Order that I would be working as her assistant. She said it was so that if she sent me with messages, the other members would know they were official.

I had wondered if the members would be offended at my "promotion" over their heads, but no one was. Everyone seemed to agree with Minerva's reasoning both that there was a need and in her selection of me to fill it.

So with that to look forward to, I began my day at Headquarters with breakfast and packing for my weekend away.

I had thought, long and hard, about the biggest problem facing our continued communication with Severus, how to get in touch. I decided to take a page from our 5th year and the Defense Association, and weave a Protean Charm as the best possibility. My only question was what to put it on that wouldn't be suspicious for a Death Eater.

I Apparated to the Leaky Cauldron and checked in with Tom early. I wanted to go shopping for something to link with the Charm before I expected Severus to arrive.

After dropping my bag in the room, I headed out to Diagon Alley to see what I could find. It had to be something small, something over-look-able. But at the same time, something that wouldn't seem new or get easily misplaced. It also had to be something he could keep on him permanently.

I had noticed that a lot of purebloods wore jewelry of some sort. While Severus wasn't a pureblood, he had functioned as Head of Slytherin for about 20 years, and he hung out with the purest of the pure (at least in some senses….) so jewelry may not be too out of place. Thinking back, I don't remember seeing him wear any jewelry, but that could be because of the reactivity of metals with potions, or something, too. A really simple piece, though, that might work…

Finding the jewelry store, I went in and began looking at what was available. In a display case, I found some rings that had versions of the Hogwarts House crests. They looked something like signet rings, showing the mascot engraved on a flat surface. Some of them were enameled, but most were plainer.

That struck me as a good possibility. Looking around more, I didn't find anything else suitable, and I wanted to get this done quickly so I would have time to set the Protean Charm in place.

Getting a salesman's attention, I purchased a Slytherin ring in silver and a Gryffindor ring in gold. The salesman's eyebrow shot up at the combination, but I quickly explained that while I fancied the Gryffindor one for myself, the Slytherin one was for creating a joke ring, and that I was friends with the Weasley twins…

Taking the rings back to my room, I began working on the Protean Charms to link them and make them respond to myself and Severus so we could pass messages. Once finished, I looked at the clock, realized I had several hours, and decided to read. Before I knew it, I had drifted off to doze.

I awoke for the second time that day and looked at my watch, quarter to three in the afternoon. Standing in front of the mirror, I charmed the wrinkles out of my clothing and headed to the washroom to refresh myself.

Once again awake and aware, I returned to the common room and asked Tom to send some food up to the room that would be good for nibbling on and a pot of coffee and once again climbed the stairs to wait.

Engrossed in a book and a cup of coffee to help me stay awake, the time passed quickly. Then, at half past four, I heard the sound I had eagerly been awaiting and dreading at the same time.

A sharp, yet quiet knock on the door.

The door opened and closed, flipping its latch to lock and I felt the muffling sensation of a silencing charm.

This was followed by a swirl of fabric being removed, leaving a man standing in my room who did not look like Severus Snape, at least not on first glance. He had not noticed me as of yet, as I was sitting in a corner. A closer inspection revealed that the cheek bones and general facial structures were the same, but the nose and coloring had been altered.

"Severus, can you drop the illusions?" I asked him, wanting to make sure I was dealing with the right person. Not that his appearance would be what decided this for me, but rather how he would react…

Quickly spinning at the sound of my voice, he exclaimed, "Miss Granger!" He seemed quite shocked to see me there, and I had to wonder what Minerva had told him. But the tonality of his 'Miss Granger' had me convinced that this was in fact my old professor.

With a small sigh I put my book down and rose from my chair. I crossed the room to the table and two chairs that stood on the other side of the bed. Seating myself, I indicated the other chair with a nod, and waited for Snape to collect himself.

"Miss Granger, I must admit, I am a bit surprised to find you here. I was expecting someone…else."

"Severus, as you are no longer a professor, and I am not longer a student, perhaps you can drop the formality? Hermione will do, as I believe we will be working together for some time."

As he slowly lowered himself into the other chair, I watched him carefully. He was processing everything I had said, as well as everything it implied. My respect for his mind rose again.

"So, _Hermione_, Minerva assigned you to be my contact person? And you are no longer a student, hmmm, not just my student, but a student? A lot must have happened in the last couple of weeks."

"Yes, Severus. A lot has happened." I looked him over carefully, although it was hard to detect if he was affected by my perusal, since he was covered with illusions. "Severus, you look concerned to be working with me, and I will be the first to agree with you that we have not always had the most…cordial…relationship, but Minerva felt that I was the best choice for this assignment."

His eyes focused on me intently, like he was reading my soul. I realized in that moment, he might be, given that he had been teaching Harry Occlumency. Well, he could find Minerva's reasons for himself, although I wasn't happy that he was probing without asking first.

"Miss Granger, I feel that I must become your teacher again, if not your professor. You will have to learn to Occlude your mind if wish to function well as Minerva's assistant."

Momentarily stunned, I dropped my gaze. Collecting my thoughts and my Gryffindor courage, I looked him in the eyes again and said, "Professor, I think you are correct. That had not occurred to me, nor, do I think it has occurred to Minerva. If you think you would be willing to give me that instruction, I would be a fool to turn you down."

"And a fool is something you have never been, have you, Miss Granger?"

"I try my best not to be."

"All right, Hermione. Let's discuss our plans, then."

At this, I presented him with the ring I had purchased that morning for him. He looked at it quizzically, an eyebrow rose almost to his hairline.

"It's charmed with a Protean Charm. The date inscribed on the inside can be changed. The first number is the time you want to meet, the second number the day of the month. The last number is the year you finished Hogwarts for AM or the year you began teaching for PM. If you change it, it will grow warm and my ring," here I held up my hand to show him the Gryffindor ring which adorned my finger, "will alert me to the changes. I will immediately Apparate to whatever we have agreed upon as a location if you set it to the current time."

"Simple, yet effective. I approve, Miss Granger."

"Oh, now you approve, when you can no longer give House points, and I can no longer earn them. How ironic."

At that, he gave an unexpected snort of amusement.

"So, Professor, we need to set a place to meet."

"Hmmm, yes, well, as I see it, the best option is the Shrieking Shack. The Shack is cold, inconvenient, and hard to explain to the Dark Lord, but overall I think it is the best choice for now. We can both Apparate there easily, and for the most part everyone avoids it."

I just shrugged in response. I hadn't been to the Shrieking Shack since the horrible night more than two years ago when Wormtail escaped. But Snape's reasoning made sense. No one went there, it wasn't Secret-Kept, so going wasn't a problem, and it would be easy for me to go up to Hogwarts and meet with Minerva from there.

"Yes, I suppose that will work. When would you like to set a meeting time, and a lesson time, I guess? I would like to take you up on your offer for Occlumency lessons, since I am carrying around a number of things now that I don't want others to find out…"

"This time is fine."

"All right. So, Severus, is there anything you would like me to pass on, or any questions you have that I can answer? Or really, anything at all you think Minerva and I should know?"

"Miss Granger, to be quite frank, I was not expecting you. I do not know who I was expecting really, but it certainly was not someone my mind is telling me should still be a student at the school. Perhaps, it would be best to explain to me why you are no longer a student?"

"Certainly. I suppose I should start at the beginning, then. You are aware that Dumbledore and Harry had been working to neutralize Voldemort by collecting a series of objects, yes?"

"No, I had not. Although, it makes sense if what I suspect is true…" As he considered the possibilities, a look of horror came over his features. "Surely not! Even the Dark Lord would not do that to himself!"

"Ah, well, since I am not sure what you are referring to, I will continue. Dumbledore believed that there were a certain number of these…items. We have so far neutralized two of them, and we are sure of what another is and are trying to find it."

"It was from this search that Dumbledore and Potter were returning when they were…found…atop the tower?"

"Ah, yes. We…that is, Harry, Ron, and I…decided to not return to school this year, and instead are tracking down these items."

"Miss Granger, it does not surprise me in the least that your two dunderheaded companions would make that choice. It does, however surprise me that you, who had always been so focused on succeeding at school, would throw away your chances in the wizarding world by not completing your education."

"Well, sir, you don't have to worry. I took my NEWTs last week."

"Really? A year early?" Severus looked very surprised as he asked that. "Perhaps I have been underestimating you all this time. All right, so you are a fully qualified witch?"

"You are getting ahead of the story you originally asked for. When we told Minerva we were not returning, she wasn't all that surprised. But a week ago, when she received your letter, she asked me to be her assistant. She requested Professor Marchbanks test me, and once I was done, she had me read your letter and look through the memories it mentioned." At this, Snape's face darkened. Apparently, he had not wanted anyone but Minerva to see those…

"She wanted me to know everything that was happening, so that if something horrible happened, someone would know the whole story. As she saw it, the Weasleys were too volatile or busy, anyone who works at the Ministry too easily compromised, Harry had enough on his plate already and he really hates you, Lupin hates you and as a werewolf his word is not worth much…well, you get the point. I was the best choice. I argued that I was too young, but Minerva said that I was a full witch and an adult now, and that I had impressed enough people to be all right in the case of an emergency. Besides, the other adults would back me if needed. So, here I am…"

"And do Harry and Ron know where you are?"

"Ah…well, they know I have been made Minerva's assistant. They know I am working on that today. They do not know I am with you. Last night, when we received word of Lucius' escape, we were officially inducted into the Order."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you, I think."

"Oh, you don't think. I am well aware of how long you have wanted to be members, to be part of the group that is in-the-know. All right, let me tell you some things, then. You and Minerva can decide how much to pass on.

"The Dark Lord was extremely unhappy with Draco over his failure to kill Dumbledore. He was tortured and locked up to await his punishment, but before the Dark Lord could decide what his punishment would be he managed to escape with some help…"

I wanted to interject comments that he deserved it for bringing Death Eaters into the castle, or ask Snape if he had played a role in freeing Draco when I realized that his phrasing admitted as much. Slytherins and their need to be subtle. Why can't they ever just come out and say things? Actually, this might be a good time to ask that…

"Severus, why do you Slytherins feel the need to beat around the bush?" I noticed his face darkening at the perceived insult. "I'm not trying to insult you; I am merely asking a question. Why not just say you freed Draco? Why leave it so open to interpretation? It seems like a Slytherin characteristic, to always speak so ambiguously. Why?"

"Not everyone wishes to share there innermost thoughts and feelings and motivations with the world all the time. If we did, we would likely have been sorted into Gryffindor."

"Yes, but…"

"Yes, but. Indeed. Well, Slytherin as a House has the most politics. Try to think of it as talking to a professional politician and you would be better off."

I could only sigh at that. I meant I would have to remember word for word every conversation and look for all the hidden meanings and half-truths. "All right, so Draco…escaped."

"Yes, and he in now in a safe location. The Dark Lord was quite upset, and ordered Bellatrix and I to search the homes of his inner circle. Draco has, of course, not been found. Not long after, the Dark Lord detailed Bellatrix and Rookwood to break Lucius out of Azkaban. He escaped yesterday. I have not yet seen him, and do not know for sure where he is hiding, although I assume it is with Narcissa at one of the many properties owned by the Malfoy family."

"The Order did know that he had escaped, although not who was sent to break him out."

Snape nodded, as though he expected this.

"All right, I have a way of getting missives to Minerva, but not to you. Where can I send information to you at, if I cannot get it to Minerva?"

"I have been staying at Headquarters with Harry and Ron. I'm not sure that it's the best place to send things, though, as the boys get very protective of me…"

"No, I can see that. And it's Secret-Kept, so mail cannot be sent there for you. Alright, the rings really are the best idea, then. I'll signal you through the ring. And if I cannot get away, I will send an owl to you there."

"That will work."

"Now, briefly, for starters with the Occlumency, you should practice letting go of your emotions and emptying your mind. When we meet next, we will discuss it more. But for now, start with trying to empty your mind and let go of emotion. I know that is particularly hard for a Gryffindor."

"You know, I had never considered that before, but you may be right. It is hard for a Gryffindor, because our emotions are so often tied to why we do things. If we give up our emotions, we give up our reasons for being involved in the very things that put us in danger. Harry especially. His whole purpose in being involved in the conflict is love and friendship, and his desire to protect those he cares about. Without that, I don't think he would bother…"

A look of dawning understanding came across the almost-face of Snape, as if, in that moment, he realized why he had failed in his attempts to train the Gryffindor Savior of the Wizarding World…and it was not a pleasant thought for him.

"Yes, well, I shall see you next week, then. When I know when I will be able to get away, I will send you it through the ring," Snape said, trying to regain his sense of balance after a revelation.

"Yes, see you then."

And with that Severus Snape Apparated away.

Repacking my bags, I headed back down to the common room and checked out of room seven.

"Thanks, Tom, but something has come up and I have to get back home," I said, giving him the key.

"Alright, Hermione, I'll see you around," he said, looking a bit sad that I wouldn't be there over night.

Leaving, I Apparated to the gates of Hogwarts to make a report to Minerva, letting her know all that I had found out.

Things were slowing looking up for the Order. We once again had an inside man with the Death Eaters who we could trust.

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Please Read and Review. Comments are appreciated. Draco and Hermoine will come face to face in the next chapter...  



	6. Catalyst of Change

**Warning: This chapter contains a rape scene. I tried to make it less graphic, but if you are underage or offended, please stop reading when Hermione enters the shrieking shack (towards the end…it's the second time she goes there).

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**Catalyst**

**Hermione's Point of View**

After leaving the Leaky Cauldron, I decided to head to Flourish and Blotts and purchase whatever books I could find on Occlumency. I found several on theory and a few with practical pointers, and decided that I needed as much information as I could get. I wanted to master this skill as quickly as possible, since I had a foreboding notion that I would need it…soon. I may not think Professor Trelawney was very good at the 'noble art of divination,' but I had long ago learned to trust my instincts. Especially where learning defensive skills were concerned.

Once my purchases were finalized, Shrunken, and tucked away in my purse, I decided to prepare our meeting location. My remembrances of the Shrieking Shack were of a dusty, dirty, ramshackle place that had made my allergies flare up for a week…even with the Hay Fever Potion Madame Pomfrey gave me. I decided if I was going to be spending time there, I should attempt to make it more comfortable.

So, holding on tightly to my purse and my wand, I Apparated to the Shrieking Shack.

It was worse than I remembered. Filthy and dusty, full of broken furniture, leaves, and mouse droppings, I knew I had my work cut out for me.

Thank all the Gods that I'm a witch. If I were a Muggle faced with this mess, I think I'd lose what little temper I had these days.

**Draco's Point of View**

Looking around my current abode, I feel a sense of pride in what I have managed to accomplish. While, even after several weeks, the Refuge is not up to the standards of Malfoy Manor where I grew up, or really even the standards of Hogwarts, it is much better than the rat-infested Riddle Manor where the Dark Lord currently resides. Nena has been quite busy cleaning, and I have been getting lots of experience with transfiguration. We are comfortable, even if we are not living in the lap of luxury.

Over the past few weeks my contact with Snape has been sporadic at best. Maybe once a week I get a message from Nena to Apparate to his home next door. We chat for a few minutes and sometimes he gives me some books he particularly wants me to read. Sometimes he asks me to look for specific information for his research. Two weeks ago, he brought me a potions kit and had asked me to start brewing some minor healing potions in my free time, which Nena would then deliver…somewhere.

I had always liked Potions classes, so I appreciated the assignment, even if I wasn't sure what would happen with the potions when I completed them.

When Nena popped into the lab I had set up and asked me to "attend Master Snape" I was quite happy to agree. No matter how much I enjoyed my make-work, no matter how nice the furnishings I had transfigured, I was quite glad to see another human being. After about a month of only seeing Snape once a week or so, I would have been happy to see Potty or the Weasel King. Hell, even Mudblood Granger would have been an improvement…

Apparating to Snape's home only took a moment. "Sir?" I called into the empty seeming home.

I could barely hear his voice when he answered, "I'm downstairs in the lab, Draco."

I headed down the stairs to the lab as quickly as I could, anxious to see another human for the first time in a week.

"Draco, I need you to begin working on a batch of the Draught of Peace. Do you remember how to make it from class? Or do I need to find the recipe for you?"

"No, sir, I remember how to make it."

"Good, after we chat for a while, I want you to start a batch immediately."

"Sir, if I may ask, why are we brewing all these medicinal potions? And the Draught of Peace? Sir, I have never heard of a Death Eater needing the Draught of Peace."

"When did I ever say I was brewing the potions, or having them brewed, for Death Eaters?"

I thought about this for a moment, trying to remember each of our conversations, especially those that revolved around the potions I had brewed. I had to conclude that he never had said who we were brewing for.

"You didn't, Sir." The implications of that stopped me for a moment. "But then, who are we brewing them for?" I noticed the pitch of my voice increasing as the possibilities began to multiply…the treasonous possibilities…

"Draco, do you trust me?" His voice was quiet as he asked me this question.

Looking into his black eyes, I could only nod in assent. Of course I trusted him. He was my Godfather, my Head of House, more a father to me than my own on so many occasions I had lost count. "Yes, sir," I answered aloud, finding my voice.

"Draco, you have known me your entire life. You trusted me with your life. I could even say you owe me your life," he paused, clearly thinking hard. After a moment, he looked up at me with his coal black eyes, one eyebrow arched, and I knew deep down he was asking me if I wanted to share his burden.

I realized that I wasn't ready for more yet. "I'm sorry I questioned you, Sir. I know how to make the potion you requested. I will begin it immediately."

Snape sighed, clearly weary. "All right, Draco. How have you been fairing? I'm sorry I have been unable to get away as much as I would like. Is there anything, anything at all, which you need?"

"No, sir."

"All right, then. I will see you the next time I can get away."

I only nodded, picking up the bundle he had brought this time, and Apparated back to the Refuge.

Snape's Point of View

It was clear the boy was lonesome. I wished there was something I could do to ease the fact that he was almost entirely alone all the time. But short of a disaster, for now there was nothing else I could do about it.

Putting my worries about Draco away, I Apparated to my weekly meeting with Hermione.

Our first meeting had been a surprise for me, and each one since was stranger still.

The first time we had met at the Shrieking Shack, I had been astounded at how much effort she had put into making it habitable. It was clean, and smelled freshly aired out. The two chairs had been repaired for us to sit on while we discussed the news I brought, and a table stood by them in case we needed to write or in case she brought food. It was weatherproofed and the wind and rain of the Scottish countryside no longer whistled through cracks in the walls big enough for leaves to blow through.

The next surprise came from the fact that Granger had clearly put a lot of effort into mastering Occlumency. In a month, she had gained in proficiency to the point that I could no longer breach her defenses. I was amazed at how fast she had mastered this difficult skill, although I realized I shouldn't have been given the dedication to learning she had shown throughout her career at Hogwarts.

"Hermione, I do not believe that there is anything further you will learn from me in the art of blocking Occlumency. You are not yet able to create memories, but you are adept at keeping me out completely. I think, therefore, it is time for you to move on to Legilimency." After discussing the theory with her, I proceeded to allow her to practice against me. While she did not get through my shields, I had no doubt that she would learn to breach most minds quickly.

When our lessons were finished, I shared with her some information about some planned attacks on the families of several Muggle-born students and quickly took my leave of her, arranging to see her the following weekend.

**Hermione's Point of View**

Snape left abruptly, as usual, and I made my way though the tunnel to Hogwarts to share with Minerva the information about the Muggle-born students' families.

As I trudged through the dark, I realized that Snape had given me the closest thing to a compliment I had ever heard cross his lips when he said he could teach me nothing more about blocking my mind to others. Amazing.

Minerva took the news of the planned attacks in stride, alerting Order members and getting safety precautions in place for the families.

After the rush of orders was over, Minerva turned to me, a questioning look on her face. "Hermione, how are you holding up? Are you and Severus getting along all right? Or is he…causing problems?"

"What?" I asked, shocked. "Oh, no, he's been quite…polite. Nice almost. Which is strange, as Snape has never seemed like the type to…do nice…"

Minerva snorted. Then chuckled. Before long, she was actually full out laughing. "Oh, Lord," she got out between great big guffaws, "Severus, NICE?" More laughs. She started taking deep breaths, trying to control her laughter. "Hermione, that's quite an image. I take it you have been studying your Occlumency, and it's been going well?"

"Yes. I think he gave me a compliment tonight. He said there was nothing more he could teach me about blocking."

Minerva stopped laughing at once, a look of complete shock on her face. "He said that? To a Gryffindor? The world must be ending. Hmm, I really shouldn't even joke about that, given the situation we're in with Voldemort. The world might be ending."

I let out a loud sigh.

Minerva clearly read the emotions written on my face. "Hermione, go home and relax for once. Play some games with the boys. Don't read. Don't work. Just take a night off."

I looked at her, seeing the concern in her eyes, and slowly nodded. "All right, Minerva. I'll see what the boys are doing and turn in early," and with that, I went to the Floo in Minerva's office and left for Headquarters…my home.

When I arrived in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place, the boys were sitting around the kitchen eating dinner. Going to the counter, I dished out a plate for myself and joined them. As I sat down, I noticed them giving me questioning looks.

"I have been given the night off to relax. What do you suggest I do? And do you want to join me?" I asked, noticing their raised eyebrows. Usually, I didn't get home until much later after a meeting.

After looking at me, they looked at each other and shrugged. "Exploding Snap, maybe?" Ron asked.

"Sure, that sounds fun," I answered. We hadn't played games in forever. Actually, I had rarely played games with the boys; usually I just sat near them and read while they played.

Several games of Exploding Snap and a few too many shots of Firewhiskey later, Harry excused himself and stumbled up to his room.

Ron and I moved in front of the fire together, glasses in hand, and spent a few minutes looking at the flames. It had been a fun evening. I didn't get much chance to just hang out with my friends too much anymore.

Just as I was getting comfortable, I felt Ron's arm drape around my shoulders. Turning my head to look at him questioningly, I was surprised when my lips were immediately seized with a very sloppy kiss, and his hand dropped lower onto my right breast.

"Ron, stop! We're drunk! What are you doing?" I asked, pushing him away.

"Hermione, come on. We've been dating for a while now, but I never see you anymore. I miss you. Don't you want me anymore?"

"Ron, not like this. Please, I have a lot on my plate right now. I don't want to get distracted. I don't want to think about relationships right now! I definitely don't want to be distracted with groping!"

I should have kept my mouth shut. I never said the right thing when I'd been drinking, which is one of the reasons I seldom indulge. But between the groping and the slobbery kiss, I just wanted to get away. Honestly, I thought to myself, he should be glad I didn't push him harder. I shuddered at the amount of slime in the kiss he had just given me, not to mention the slightly mashed feeling of my breast.

A hurt look flickered across his face at my reaction, but it was quickly suppressed. "Hermione, I don't think our relationship is going to work. I think about you all the time; I get distracted by thoughts of you." His voice was quiet and even.

"Ron, can't we discuss this in the morning?"

"No, Hermione, we can't. I'm sure you have heard the saying that there's truth in the bottom of the bottle. I see the 'truth' in your reaction to me. You don't need to mask it in the morning." With that, he headed out of the room and I could hear his footsteps on the stairs.

I wanted to be sad, to ball my eyes out over losing Ron so quickly. We had both spent so much time wanting to make a move on each other, and yet not wanting to hurt our friendship. Now it was over in the space of a few weeks.

With another deep sigh, I followed the boys upstairs and went to bed.

The next morning was tense. Harry and Ron had once again beat me to the breakfast table, and Ron had clearly filled Harry in on the events that had occurred after he had gone to bed the night before.

Harry looked up at me and gave me a sad half-smile. I was relieved to see he didn't seem to be taking sides.

Ron, on the other hand, wouldn't meet my eyes.

I dished myself a bowl of oatmeal and sat down across the table from the boys. Eating slowly, I tried hard to decide what to do. I was saved from breaking the silence by Ron.

"So, mate," he said, looking at Harry, "what are the plans for today?"

Harry looked back at Ron, eyebrow raised. "Well, Ron, I thought we would have a strategy session with Hermione and get each other all caught up on what was happening. Then we can make some plans for the rest of the week."

Ron, noticing that his attempt to exclude me had backfired, blushed crimson.

"Well, Harry…Ron…I have been working on gaining competency in Occlumency. I started with books, and then Professor McGonagall found me a teacher for me to practice with. As of the last session, I was declared proficient, and was bid to begin studying Legilimency. I was thinking that maybe I should work with the two of you. Harry, you, especially, need to be able to block your mind, but you had such an emotional reaction to Snape that I don't think he could have ever taught you…"

"Hermione, that's a great idea."

"Well, the way I think it works is that the more emotionally attached you are to something, the more you think about it, so the more likely it will be picked up on by Legilimency. You said Snape used to tell you to clear your mind of all emotions, but Snape doesn't really understand Gryffindors. My guess is he didn't understand that we Gryffindors don't become caught up in causes and in actions because of logic, but because we feel, deep down, that it's the right thing to do. Emotionally. So the way he was teaching you was doomed to fail. You are nothing if not the consummate Gryffindor." I smiled at them both, as they were both clearly caught up in my theory. "Actually, that's true for both of you, well, all of us, really. We react with our sense of right and wrong, not our ambition."

"Hmmm," Ron mumbled, lost in thought. "You think that's why the best at Occlumency and Legilimency are Slytherins? It's part of how their mind works?"

"More or less, yes. But that doesn't mean that we can't do it, too. We just do it differently."

"OK, I'll bite, how do we do it, then?" Ron asked. It seemed that as long as we could stay on a topic like this, he could divert his feelings.

"Well, we will never be as good as someone like Snape, because he was able to choose thoughts to show. All I can really do is block, not give false trails…" I paused, collecting my thoughts on how to explain it, "but I think of a wall. I thick wall that keeps everything in. Sounds, sights, memories, feelings…everything. I know some people who use this technique use the image of clouds…but the wall works best for me. Basically, it's an image that separates you from the rest of the world or even from yourself if the situation is bad enough."

Harry was staring at me with a growing look of appreciation.

"If you want to read up on theory, I have some books that I found really helpful. Once you have a basic understanding, we can practice…"

"Hermione, that sounds like a great idea," Ron said, not meeting my eyes.

I went upstairs for the books and tried desperately to think of other topics we could discuss without Ron and I having an argument.

The week passed quickly with research and our mental practice of the dual skills of Occlumency and Legilimency. That weekend, the boys went off to try and track down the next Horcrux, and I got ready to go to the Shrieking Shack. The Order had been quite successful at protecting the families Snape had gotten the warning out about, and so the general feeling at Headquarters was one of careful optimism.

I was due to meet Severus at the Shrieking Shack at 3 pm, but I had noticed last week that some of the cleaning charms I had done to make the place less ramshackle needed to be repeated. So even though it was only half past noon, I decided to head out.

I Apparated directly into the tunnel that led to the Shrieking Shack so that I was right beneath the trap door when I reappeared. I thought I heard a voice coming from within the Shack, but quickly dismissed the notion since I could clearly hear the wind coming through the cracks in the walls in the attic.

A few moments after I opened the trap door, I heard something shift upstairs, but this noise I also discounted. After all, the Shrieking Shack was an old building, always settling and making noise when I was there with Severus. I decided it was likely that was what I was hearing now.

Closing the trap door, I headed up the stairs to the second floor where I always met with Severus. I decided, given the chill in the air, that once I had cleaned the room again, I would cast several warming charms. I could distinctly feel goose flesh on my arms, and I couldn't suppress a shiver.

Arriving on the second floor, I thought it odd that the door to the bedroom was closed. That was the room Severus and I met in, and we usually left the door open. But again, I put the closed door down to the wind that was penetrating the building at this level.

Opening the door, I entered the room that had, for me at least, been transformed from a place of bad memories from the night Wormtail escaped to a place of learning and fighting for the Order.

As soon as I entered the room I knew something was wrong. The furniture had been rearranged and there was a smell to the place that I didn't recognize, at least not right away.

Unfortunately, by the time I recognized it as the smell of unwashed body and unbrushed teeth, it was too late.

"_Expelliarmus!" _shrieked a voice I recognized all too well from my nightmares, a voice I had last heard in the Department of Mysteries.

Flung backwards, I landed on the bed in the same place that Severus had landed on that fateful night back in third year, the night Wormtail returned to Voldemort. Looking up, I saw a sight I had hoped never to see: Lucius Malfoy, flanked by three other Death Eaters, pointing his wand directly at me and holding my wand in his other hand.

"Well, well, well. What have we here? If it isn't Potter's little Mudblood. Isn't this a surprise," he chuckled. It was a sinister chuckle and held with no warmth at all. He'd been frightening enough before, but Lucius Malfoy after Azkaban was terrifying. Still, no matter how scared I was, and I was honest enough with myself to realize I had never been more afraid, I was also determined not to show him this.

"Where one member of the irritating trio is, can the others be far behind? Nott, Goyle, go see if there is anyone else here. Crabbe, stay with me." Two of the Death Eaters ventured out into the hall and began searching the Shrieking Shack.

While Malfoy's attention was on directing the buffoons, I desperately tried to think of a way out of this situation. Perhaps he caught my slight movement out of the corner of his eye, because the next thing I knew, I was bound on the remains of the bed. I had thought I couldn't be more afraid before the ropes snugged into place. I now know how wrong I was. Malfoy just smiled at my look of shock and terror.

Moments later, Nott and Goyle returned to the room. "No sign of anyone else," Nott said.

"Well, then, my friends, it seems we have been gifted a golden opportunity to lay a blow to the golden trio. You know, a year in Azkaban, and Narcissa never once visited me. And even now that I'm out, she won't have anything to do with me. It's been a year since I have had a woman under me...granted she's not much of a woman, and a filthy Mudblood to boot, but still…I'm not picky anymore…" He leered at me, after sharing a look with his companions.

As understanding of what he was intending to do to me flooded my brain, I was rocked by waves of emotions: disgust, fear, anger, shame, fear, anger. I also couldn't help but think about how I had reacted to Ron the week before, and how this was shaping up to be so much worse.

Malfoy was almost purring now as he stalked over to my prone body. Grabbing the rope around my arms, he pulled me off the broken bed and pushed me towards Crabbe. Fumbling, Crabbe caught me and held me upright, as Malfoy repaired the damage to the old bed with some mumbled spells.

"Hold her," he commanded Crabbe, as Goyle came up on my other side. As large as their sons were, Crabbe and Goyle senior were like living mountains. I had to wonder if there wasn't possibly some troll or giant blood running through their veins.

Nott stood on the other side of the room, observing everything that was happening. When our eyes met, he gave me a sly grin, and purposely dropped his gaze to my chest. Bringing his eyes back up, he smirked at me. Defiant, I fought my blushes, knowing it was a losing battle, but refusing to be intimidated.

This clearly amused Nott. "Malfoy, I think she needs a lesson in humility. Clearly, Dumbledore failed to teach her the role in life she was bred for as a Mudblood."

Malfoy stopped his spell work to consider. "Well, then, Nott, I think you should warm her up a bit and show her what happens to Mudbloods who lack humility."

Nott just nodded and pointed his own wand at me. "Crucio," he said softly. Almost too softly to be heard. I wondered, in the brief moment before the curse hit me, how he could cast an Unforgivable in such a quiet tone. After all, you had to mean it with the Unforgivables, and usually that meant some visible emotion. But Nott almost whispered the curse.

I had heard the descriptions of the Cruciatus Curse before from several people, including Harry. I had seen Snape's memories of receiving the curse from Voldemort. But no mere description, no memory, could prepare me for the feeling of every single nerve ending in my body being fired with pain all at once.

No longer supported by Crabbe and Goyle, I feel to the dirty floor, writhing in pain, screaming. The reputation of the Shrieking Shack meant that no one would notice my screams; no one would come to save me.

After a seeming eternity, Nott lifted the curse.

Opening my eyes, I saw four pairs of amused eyes looking down on me. With shaking limbs, I attempted to hoist myself up.

"Clearly, that was insufficient. Crucio!" Malfoy said. His voice was much louder that Nott's. He was standing closer, too. I barely had time to realize what he had said before I was engulfed in wave after wave of new pain.

When I had been cursed until I could no longer move, much less stand or escape, I was summarily hauled to my feet by Malfoy's goons. In the small part of my mind that was still functioning and not shrieking in pain, I was amazed with the similarities between the two generations.

At their touch, my abused limbs screamed in protest, and moans of pain escaped my mouth before I could stop them. It was then that I noticed I had bit through my lips while I had been held under the Curse.

Once lifted, I was flung down again, only to land on the repaired bed. I knew what was coming, and my mind, in an effort to protect itself, tried to blank, tried to put up the walls that had served it so well for Occlumency.

Numbly, I felt my clothing being torn off, mostly because it was hurting my shaking limbs. I felt the cold air blowing through the cracks in the walls on my naked skin, chilling me quickly in my sweat-soaked state from the time I had spent under the hated wands of the Death Eaters.

The walls I had managed to place around my mind cracked when I felt a heavy body climb on top of me. Forcing my eyes to focus, I looked into the steel-grey gaze of Lucius Malfoy, mere inches from my face, as he proceeded to slide between my thighs, as he spread them wide forcing another scream from my lips, as he prodded my exposed opening with his rock hard member.

After the pain of the Cruciatus Curse, the pain of him rending my maidenhood was visceral at best, but the mental anguish it caused was worse than any other torture I had yet faced.

The look of surprise on his face as he felt it pop would have been priceless under other circumstances. In the current situation, it only brought home to me again what was happening. The surprise was only there for a moment, as it was soon replaced with such a look of victory that I shuddered, again setting fire to my nerves as the pain returned.

"A virgin, Miss Granger. I am impressed. Not many make it through their time at Hogwarts without experimenting." He began to move then, pounding into my abused flesh and tearing screams from my throat.

Shutting my eyes, I willed myself away, somewhere safe, where he couldn't touch me. I felt the walls coming back up as I mercifully passed out.

Someone must have noticed my lapse in consciousness, since I was brought back by a wand being poked into my temple. Just in time to hear Malfoy grunt his way to completion. Thinking it was over, I was unprepared for the feeling of another, larger body moving into place atop mine. I opened my eyes to see Goyle's trollish features hovering over me. This time, the wall was easier to build, and the pain seemed less.

Goyle's noises increased quickly and he was replaced by Crabbe, but I was beyond caring.

When Crabbe finished, I was rolled onto my front and Nott took his turn, forcing his way into my rear entrance, pushing hard, unlubricated, and making me scream again. Malfoy laughed as Nott's moans of enjoyment burned my ears. As his pitch increased, I felt only relief, hoping that their torment for me would be over soon, that they would kill me and put an end to this hell.

Instead, when Nott withdrew his spent cock from my bleeding ass, Malfoy rolled me back over. Looking down at my bloodied body, he smiled. "Mudblood, you look better than I have ever seen you. But then, it really has been a long time." Reaching down, he grabbed my breasts with bruising force and climbed on for one last ride. This time, when I passed out, I was allowed to remain in the land of dreams.

I returned to consciousness fairly quickly, hoping that it had all been a dream. Chilled, I managed to sit up enough to look down at my body. The bruises, the blood streaks, the shaking…it was all real. Not a nightmare, then.

Frantically, I looked around for my wand, for my clothes. For anything to cover my nakedness.

My clothing was gone, probably Vanished. I saw my wand lying in pieces on the dresser across from the bed. There were no blankets, no bed curtains, nothing to cover myself. My arms were shaking so badly that I knew I would be unable to move from the bed, even if there were something for me to move towards.

It was then that I noticed I was still bleeding. Slowly, but still bleeding.

I lay back on the bed, shivering with cold, with fear, with the ghosts of pain from the Cruciatus Curse and…what came after.

Finally my mind, in an attempt to protect itself, allowed me to slip once more into unconsciousness.

**Snape's Point of View**

It had been an active week for Voldemort's flunkies, and a number of raids had been planned. Lucius was heading up one of the parties that had been ordered to target Hogsmeade businesses owned by Order supporters.

I arrived for my weekly meeting with Granger with quite a bit to report.

Once inside the Shrieking Shack, I immediately noticed that there was noise coming from upstairs, and not the normal noise Hermione usually makes as she moves around cleaning and warming the place before I arrive. I didn't hear any footsteps, but a soft keening noise was coming from the room where we usually met.

I sub-vocalized a Silencing Charm on my feet, causing them to make no noise as I investigated. It was clear after casting a revealing spell that there is no one on the ground floor, so I moved silently up the staircase to the second floor.

I quickly cast the revealing spell again on this floor and found that there is only one person and no jinxes present. Slowly, I opened the door to the room that has come to represent another safe haven after my meetings with Hermione.

My eyes were immediately drawn to the broken and bloodied form on the bed. It was obvious that it was Hermione; her trademark bushy hair was clearly recognizable, if matted with blood.

There was blood everywhere.

I went closer to the bed and noticed that she seemed to be unconscious, caught in a nightmare.

Blood was seeping from her nose, from her mouth where she seemed to have bitten through her lip. From the location on the mattress of additional bloodstains and the smears on her thighs, I can only assume where else blood was coming from.

Beneath the blood stains, she had bruises in the shape of fingers in several places on her body. They stood out all the more because of the contrast with her deathly pale skin.

"Fuck."

I had seen enough to know what happened, even if I didn't know who had done it.

Removing my cloak, I gently covered her with it, since her clothing seemed to be missing. I saw her wand, in pieces, across the room. Clearly, someone raped her and left her to die, if not in reality from her wounds, in embarrassment when she awoke.

I couldn't take her to Headquarters as I no longer had access to the Secret of its location. And even if I could, I did not fancy showing up with a broken Hermione to try and explain to Potter and Weasley what had happened. I couldn't take her to the school, either. Even though it was not Secret-Kept, being seen there would destroy all that I had worked for. My home wouldn't do, since Bellatrix came and went as she pleased.

With a sigh, I realized I would have to take her to the Refuge. I could only hope that Draco wouldn't object and make her life more miserable that it already was going to be.

Gathering the unconscious witch to me, she cried out in pain and her eyes fluttered open.

"Severus?" she whispered.

"Yes, Hermione," I answered her, as quietly as I could to try to keep from frightening her. "Hermione," I continued, "I am going to take you someplace safe. We are going to make you better."

She stared at me, barely comprehending what I was telling her, her eyes blank, her face in shock.

She raised a hand to her face, and I noticed the tremors as she tried to push her filthy hair back from her face where it was stuck in the blood. I had experienced enough bouts with the Cruciatus Curse myself to recognize the tremors, although I hoped I was wrong.

"Hermione, were you cursed, as well?" I asked her, as quietly as I could.

She again focused her vacant eyes on my face and blinked rapidly, as if she was having trouble seeing clearly.

"Yes. Several times. I lost count."

With a nod, I leaned close to her ear as she tried to shrink back, away from me. With a deep breath, I kept myself calm. Yelling at her wouldn't help.

"Hermione, I am taking you to the Refuge. It is located at 44 Spinner's End in Muggle London." And with that, I Apparated her to her new temporary home.

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	7. A Meeting of Ways

**A Meeting of Ways**

**Still not mine.

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**Snape's Point of View**

I had based my arrival point on a guess, since the Refuge seemed to be built to the same blueprints as my own home. I was fortunate that Draco had not put anything directly in front of the door.

The noise of my Apparition caused Draco to come running up from the basement, where he had likely set up his potions lab. Seeing me standing in the foyer holding a body wrapped in a cloak, he stopped, jaw dropping.

In the few moments that I had been standing there holding Hermione, she had flung an arm out that now hung limply. A slow drip of blood fell from her fingers landed on the clean floor.

"Draco, your room." I spoke quietly, but Draco was conditioned to obey me immediately from six years at Hogwarts. He hurried past me and up the stairs. I followed as quickly as I could with my burden.

He was holding open a door to a room which held a bed and wardrobe, but not the ornate furniture I had expected. Apparently Draco was not as good at Transfiguration as I had thought.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Pull down the covers," I said to him as I noticed him hesitating. "Nena!" I called out.

Draco went over to the bed and pulled back the covers. I shuddered at the thought of Hermione's bloodied body on the white sheets, but it couldn't be helped. I quickly strode to the bed and placed her prone form upon it, untangling her limbs from the cloak.

Just then, Nena arrived. "Yes, Master? How can Nena be serving you?"

As I stepped away from the bed, her eyes alighted on Hermione's broken looking body.

"Oh!" she exclaimed.

With a quick glance at Draco, I saw that he was similarly affected. I had never seen him so pale, even after his own bout with torture. I saw his eyes move from her bloody mass of hair to her bleeding nose and mouth, where the trickle that had fallen from her fingers seemed to originate. I could see his wince at the bruises forming on her neck and breasts and lacerated wrists. His eyes stopped on the smears of blood on her stomach and thighs, some of which were dried and dark while some were bright crimson.

Quickly, he strode to the side of the bed and yanked the blanket up over her nudity, covering her to her chin. He pulled out his wand and quickly cast a heating charm on the blanket. Without a word to me or the house-elf, he stalked out of the room. I heard the door slam to what, if this house was in fact structured like my own, was probably the bathroom. Faintly, the noise of running water reached my ears, almost covering the sounds of retching.

I silently thanked Dumbledore for allowing me to save Draco. If seeing Hermione bloody like this, someone he had hated for years, made him ill, he never would have survived being a Death Eater. His reaction gave me hope.

"Nena, I need you to go to Hogwarts and get three vials of Dreamless Sleep Draught, two vials of Blood Replenishing Potion, and the strongest pain killer Poppy has in stock. If she is there and gives you trouble, go to Minerva and tell her it's for me, and we need it immediately. Go! Hurry!" And with that order still ringing in the room, she was gone.

I was once again alone with Hermione, and I wanted nothing more than to scream. This was not supposed to happen. Until I knew the details, I could not return to Voldemort. If she had broken and told them anything… my life was in jeopardy.

I quickly transfigured my bloody cloak into a chair and sat next to the bed in case she should awake before Nena returned.

* * *

**Draco's Point of View**

Seeing Granger's broken body lying on my bed was more than I could handle. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty, having wished desperately for some company…I believe the thought had been 'even Mudblood Granger' would be better than the loneliness of the Refuge. As much as I hated her, I hadn't wanted THAT to happen to her. Torture. Rape. A small part of me wondered which of my father's friends had done that to her.

Most of me was wondering why the hell Severus had brought her here. Or, more precisely, why Severus had brought her anywhere. After all, she was the enemy. Wasn't she?

After I had calmed myself from my reaction to the blood, I left the bathroom and returned to where Severus was now sitting on a black chair.

"Severus, what happened?" I asked. I felt the need to know why my bed was now holding a bloody, naked woman who had been my nemesis (well, one of them) for six years.

"Draco," he answered, not looking up, "it's a very long story. Are you sure you are ready to hear it?" He answered my question with one of his own, giving me another out.

"Yes. I need to know, Severus. I need to know what's going on. This doesn't make any damn sense."

"Very well. I will tell you everything. But not yet. I want to wait until Nena returns and we get Hermione taken care of. Once she's settled, we'll discuss it."

Seeing that I was not going to get any more information without patience, I settled on the side of the bed to wait, as far from Granger as I could get.

Seeing that she was still bloody and bleeding, I cast a doubtful look at my godfather. "Severus, shouldn't you, you know, clean her up a bit?"

"Not until she wakes up. We may need to…collect evidence. I need to talk with her. But not until she has taken some pain medication."

"Would you like me to get some of the Draught of Peace you had me brew? It's done."

He looked at me, surprised. "Yes, Draco. That would be helpful. I had not thought of that."

I just nodded and left, hurrying downstairs to my lab.

When I returned, I saw that Nena had made it back from Hogwarts, clutching several vials.

"Professor McGonagall wants to know what is going on, sir. She is helping Nena, but she makes Nena tell her what it was for. She wants Master to write her a letter again to explain how little miss is hurt. She asks Nena to come tonight to explain," she rambled on as she handed vials to Severus.

"Very well, Nena," he sighed, "I will send you to her with a letter tonight. For now, let us treat the patient."

"What the hell, Severus! You're in contact with McGonagall?" I shrieked, voice totally out of control. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I had to remind myself that Slytherins don't lose control.

"Draco, not now!" Apparently I wasn't the only one on the verge of losing control.

A quiet moan from the bed captured both of our attentions.

Faster than I would have thought he could move, Severus knelt next to the bed, gently stroking Granger's forehead. "Shh, Hermione, you're safe now. I have some potions for you to take, and then I need to hear about what happened. Nena," he said, turning to the house-elf, "help me prop her up a bit."

Nena was quite gentle with Granger as she propped her up, not all the way in a sitting position, but enough that she would have an easier time swallowing her potions. First she was dosed with the Draught of Peace I had brewed, followed by a healing potion and a mild pain reliever.

Taking a deep breath, Granger seemed to visibly relax as the potions went to work.

"Hermione," Severus quietly said to her, "I need to know what happened, so that I know what to tell Minerva and how to proceed. I know it's going to be hard for you to talk about, but, Hermione, I need you to be strong. We have to know everything."

I could barely see her nod at his words, her eyes focusing and looking around the room. When she saw me, she flinched, shrinking back.

Noticing her reaction to me, Severus recaptured her attention. "Hermione, I cannot return to the Dark Lord until I know what happened, and I don't have much time. Please, Hermione, focus. Then I will give you another potion and have Nena clean you up so you can rest…"

At his words Granger took a great shuddering breath and began. "Where do I start?" she asked, more quietly and timidly than I had ever heard her before.

"At the beginning," he answered. "You were early today. Why were you early?"

Slowly, she nodded. "All right. Last week when we met, I noticed that the place was dirty and the charms to keep out the breeze were wearing off…and Ron and I had a fight. We broke up. So things have been…um…uncomfortable around the house…and I wanted to get away."

Severus nodded at her to continue, although she hadn't made any sense to me.

"Well, I decided to go early, and do some cleaning. I Apparated to the tunnel, like I usually do, and let myself in. I thought I heard noises, but the place creaks and settles all the time, so I didn't pay it much attention. I went upstairs and saw the door was closed, but I ignored that too, blaming it on the wind."

She blanked out for a moment, I assume to gather her thoughts.

"I was stupid. I should have been more cautious. But I wasn't expecting them there. I'm used to having the boys around. We guard each other's backs, you know? We've gotten careless, that way…

"Anyway, I opened the door and the next thing I knew, Lucius had gotten my wand and I was knocked off my feet. There were four of them: Lucius, Crabbe and Goyle, and Nott. I couldn't tell Crabbe and Goyle apart. Do they have giant blood?" she asked, losing the train of her thought.

"Not that I am aware of, but it would explain a lot," Severus answered her.

Nodding again, she continued, "Lucius seemed to be the leader of the group. He sent Nott and…Goyle, I think, to search the house for anyone else. Of course, there was no one else. When they came back, he was busy binding me…I think…I get a little fuzzy here…"

Severus nodded, prompting her to continue.

"Nott cast the Cruciatus Curse on me first. I remember thinking that he whispered it so quietly, that you would never know it was an Unforgivable. He hardly seemed to mean it…when he lifted it, I tried to move, and Lucius said he hadn't softened me up enough…so Lucius cast it next. At some point, I passed out and was revived. I think that's when I bit my lip."

I looked at Granger closely. She was still shaking, clearly still in pain, but she was fighting it, not giving in. I was impressed. Having recently experienced the Cruciatus Curse myself, I knew it was the worst pain imaginable. But here she was, speaking clearly, calmly. For the first time in the more than six years I had known her, I began to respect Granger.

"Hermione," Severus asked, "did you tell them anything about the Order?"

"No. They never asked me any questions. Unless one of them used Legilimency on me, I don't think they learned anything. Can you use Legilimency on someone who is unconscious, or while they are being cursed? I never felt any probing."

"You can, but none of those four are very powerful at Legilimency. You would have likely felt the probing."

"I tried to stay shielded while it was happening…it helped me distance myself from what was happening."

At this Severus just nodded at her to continue.

"Lucius had repaired the bed, and he had Crabbe and Goyle throw me onto it. Somehow they removed my clothes. Since I didn't see them in the room after, I think they were Vanished. Lucius…took me first. He seemed surprised that I was a virgin." She gave a sad smile at that, a tear sliding down her cheek.

I was fighting myself for control. I could hardly believe my own father had tortured and raped my classmate. A girl my age. I mean, I knew that he had done some… not nice things. But this…

At that point, I noticed Severus looking at me. "Draco," he asked, "are you all right? You may leave, if you wish."

"No, Severus, I need to know what happened so that if anything more happens I am prepared." I couldn't possible leave at this point. Granger had not only lived it, but she was telling it in detail. I know Slytherins are not known for their courage, but I was not about to be shown up by Granger.

Severus looked at me for a moment before nodding to Granger to continue. Seeing the exchange and the nod, she began again, "When Lucius finished, Goyle took me, then Crabbe. Nott took me, uh…in the rear." She paused, looking at Severus to see if he understood what she didn't know how to say. He nodded, showing comprehension, and she flushed. "Lucius took me again, and I passed out. I don't know what else happened from that point since they didn't revive me. The next thing I remember was waking up alone, naked on the bed, with no clothing in the room and my wand broken. I know I passed out again, and then you found me."

She shuddered, probably thinking about what had happened.

"Hermione, I want you to know that you have been very brave. You have done your House proud. I will leave you now in Nena's care. Please let her know if you need anything. I will contact Minerva and we will decide where to go from here," Snape told her.

I was quite impressed. He managed to compliment her in such a way that it could mean anything… done your House proud indeed. She probably assumed that was a good thing. I wasn't so sure Severus meant it that way. If she had been a bit less brave, she may not be in this situation.

I wouldn't mention it, though. Much as I like to push her buttons, I could tell she felt better for the compliment.

In the time that I had spent examining her reaction, Severus had left the room. Seeing that her focus had shifted to me, I gave her a brief nod before I followed him. As I made my way towards the door, I noticed the small form of the house-elf moving towards the bed in an attempt to get Granger cleaned and comfortable.

I found Severus in the kitchen, making a cup of tea, which he took with himself to the table. He seemed to be waiting for me to question him, so I decided to oblige him.

"All right, Severus, I think I would like the whole story now."

"Draco, the whole story stretches back more than twenty years and would take almost that long to tell. But I'll tell you the important parts," he countered.

"As long as the important parts include why I have Granger bleeding in my bed, I suppose that will do," I answered.

He only sighed, collecting his thoughts.

"Draco, I joined Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters right out of Hogwarts. Your father was one of my patrons. For a while, I was quite content. The Dark Lord favored me, to some extent, since I am a half-blood like him. Once I finished my mastery exams in Potions, he supported my bid to teach at Hogwarts, expecting me to spy for him and recruit. It was while I was interviewing for the post, though, a number of things happened. I overheard something that has changed the course of the wizarding world, and he made a mistake. While I was gone to my interview, he thought to show me his favor by hurting someone he thought I should despise. Instead, it was someone I held quite dear. But I did not find out about it until after I shared with him the conversation I had partially overheard."

He paused for a moment, I assumed because he was trying to decide how much to tell me. I didn't mind, though, since it gave me a chance to digest that Lord Voldemort was a half-blood. That was certainly not common knowledge, or at least if it was, it was not openly discussed.

Severus picked up the thread of his thoughts. "The outcomes of the next two meetings I had with the Dark Lord caused me to question everything I had believed in up to that point. And the soul-searching that ensued led me to confess to Dumbledore and change sides."

"You have been a spy since I was a baby?" I asked, astounded.

"Yes. You would have been just about a year old."

"But then, this whole time, last year…"

"Yes, Draco. Dumbledore knew all about it. When I told him about the Oath I had sworn to your mother, he made me swear to him that I would follow through. He believed that my placement as a spy was more important than his life. And that you were more important, too. He wanted you to live. He believed that you would not be able to go through with it, that you were still too good at heart, that you were being forced by your love for your mother to do something you did not want to do. So I did what had to be done."

"How did he know he could trust you?"

"That, young man, has no bearing on why Hermione is lying naked and bleeding in your bed."

He spent a few minutes sipping his tea in silence. With another deep sigh, he continued, "After Dumbledore was dead, no one in the Order of the Phoenix knew the entire story of what had happened, and no one had been set up as a contact. After your escape, I took a chance and sent a letter to Minerva, asking her to view some memories that Dumbledore and stored for his Pensieve. Once she had seen them, she set me up with a contact. Hermione turned out to be my contact, and we have been meeting regularly at the Shrieking Shack. That is where I found her this afternoon, left for dead. And because it is partly my fault for her being alone and unprotected, I could not leave her there to die. I had nowhere else to take her, so I brought her here."

"Granger is a member of the Order of the Phoenix? Wait a minute… YOU are a member of the Order of the Phoenix?" I was spluttering in shock.

"Yes, Draco. Hermione and I are both members."

"Is that who I have been brewing potions for?"

"Yes," Severus answered me with a smirk.

I was not sure what to think of this turn of events. I had no idea I had been helping the enemy. Hell, I didn't even know who the enemy was. After all, the man my father had dedicated his life to wanted me dead.

"Draco, in all seriousness, I wanted to keep you out of this. But I had nowhere else I could take Hermione. I am going to have to leave her with you until I can coordinate something with Minerva. Will you make sure she is taken care of? Nena will do the work, but I want someone here with her. She has been through a very traumatic experience, and she cannot be left alone right now."

Gods, he wanted ME to take care of Granger. And after everything he had done for me, how could I say no? A small voice inside of me wondered if I even wanted to say no. At least I would have someone else here for a while. And if I was decent to her, it would only make things better for me when this ended if her side won the war…

"Yes, Severus, I'll stay with Granger."

"Thank you, Draco. I'll get word to Minerva through Nena of what the plan is. I'm going to my home in case Bellatrix comes looking for me. Send Nena to me when she is finished cleaning Hermione."

Without another word to me, he Disapparated home.

I sighed, trying to decide what to do. Hearing movement upstairs, I decided to check on Granger and Nena and see if they needed anything.

I climbed the stairs slowly, wondering why I felt so calm about having Granger in my home, given our history together. I knew it was partly the fact that I was glad to have another human presence around, someone I could potentially talk to, even if it was only for a brief period of time. But the more I considered it, the more I realized it was something deeper than that. At some point tonight, my thoughts on Granger had changed. I no longer mentally thought of her as The Mudblood. Now she was just Granger. Not a friend, but also not the hated enemy of my Hogwarts days.

When and why had she changed in my mind?

The only thing I could come up with was that we had both experienced torture. But it was more than that. Severus had been tortured, too, and I had not completely changed my view of him because of it. Potter had been tortured as well, and while I respected Potter in some ways for enduring the Dark Lord's curses, it wasn't the complete change that had overcome my views of Granger at hearing her story.

Standing at the door to my bedroom which was now forever tainted in my mind as the place where I had heard how cruel my father could truly be, I looked in and saw Granger's form lying on the bed. She was cleaned of blood and wrapped in a sheet, looking peaceful. Quietly, so as not to awaken her, I pushed open the door and Conjured a chair, placing it close to the bed.

She was murmuring in her sleep, clearly not completely calmed by the potions she had been dosed with, so I gently reached over and took her hand, giving it a light squeeze the way I had seen Potter or Weasley do on occasion.

It seemed to comfort her. I pulled my chair closer and settled into my vigil. I would not let Severus down, and I realized in that moment, I wouldn't let her down, either.

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	8. Reactions

**Reactions

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**Hermione's Point of View**

Severus left me alone in a room with Malfoy and a house-elf. Fortunately for me, since my hold on sanity was tenuous at best, Malfoy didn't stay. Instead, as soon as he noticed Severus's departure, he followed him from the room.

I couldn't help but shudder at the memories being in a room with Malfoy brought me. The logical part of my brain knew that Malfoy wasn't his father, but the logical part of my brain was not the part currently in control of my emotions. No. The tired, emotional, tortured, raped, and abused part of my brain was the part that was reacting. Reacting to what had happened, and what might happen in the future.

Seeing Malfoy's white-blond hair and gray eyes brought it all back. He looked so much like his father…

I had seen the look of horror on his face when he saw me, and I wondered what had caused it. I assumed it was because he had been forced to give up what was clearly his bed to a muggle-born. And not just any muggle-born, but me. After all, he had made it clear to me in the past what he thought of me. He hated all muggle-born, but he held a special place in his stone-heart for me.

He must have been pleased to see me hurt. After all, in our second year he had hoped I'd die. For him to see me like this, in my weakness, was almost worse than what had happened with his father.

Gods, Severus, why did you bring me here? Why didn't you just leave me to die?

Silently, more tears found their way out at the corners of my eyes. But just as I was getting subsumed into my personal misery, I felt gentle hands soothing my face with a cold rag.

I opened my eyes to the greenish face of the house-elf as she patiently removed the tears and the blood. Seeing that I was conscious, she stopped her washing, and looked at me with her large, solemn eyes.

"Little Miss is hurt bad. Nena is going to get you better. Nena has more potions for Little Miss to drink. And then Nena is to be going to Hogwarts and letting the Headmistress know what has happened to her Miss. Does Little Miss want to send a letter to the Headmistress, too? Master Snape is going to be sending one."

I looked down at my hands, seeing them broken and bloody, my wrists raw from where they had been bound and shook my head no.

"Nena is going to clean Little Miss up now." And with that she quickly finished washing the streaks of blood and other things from my face and body with her soothing rag. She frowned when she got to my stomach, muttering something about bad wizards that I couldn't quite catch. She apparently decided not to wash me any lower, but to instead clean me with her magic, which she also used on the now-disgusting sheets.

She wrapped me in the blanket, and then went to the small table to collect the potion vials I was to take now.

"Miss needs to take some potions now to sleep and heal."

I just nodded and drank whatever she held out to me.

I immediately felt like a warm blanket was covering my mind, distancing me from my memories, and soothing me into sleep.

"Nena," I mumbled, before I succumbed to the inevitable.

"Yes, Miss?"

"When you go to Hogwarts, do you think you could bring my trunk? I keep some stuff there for when I end up spending the night. I need my clothing…" I was drifting off, but not before I heard her reply.

"Nena will bring."

And with that, the house-elf was gone, though I hardly noticed since sleep claimed me.

Even though I was given Dreamless Sleep Draught, I slept poorly. I think I dozed through nightmares of my experiences. After a while, though, I felt a reassuring pressure on my hand, a gentle squeeze. In my dreams, it seemed that Harry and Ron had found me. Feeling safer than I had since I had been brought to this place, I feel into a deeper, restful sleep.

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**Snape's Point of View**

I left Hermione and Draco at the Refuge and returned to my home. There was another potion she was going to need, and it wasn't one that Hogwarts usually stocked. I had a sneaking suspicion that Lucius and company had not thought about the possible consequences if she survived their torture. Therefore, she may very well now be carrying one of their offspring.

That was unacceptable.

Arriving in my home, I quickly retreated to my lab to begin brewing what she would need. It would bring on her menses like a normal cycle. Given what had happened to her, it would probably be therapeutic, the flushing of her body.

Several hours later as the potion was almost complete, Draco joined me. Looking at me curiously, I ignored him for several minutes.

"Severus, what are you making?" He was clearly confused, since this wasn't a potion taught at Hogwarts. Not something we tended to encourage the use of. And, after all, Hermione had already been pretty thoroughly dosed with potions.

"Tell me, Draco. Have you ever wanted a younger brother or sister?" I looked at him pointedly.

"Not really," he answered, still oblivious.

"Then don't you think I should ensure that Hermione is not carrying one for you?"

The look of complete and utter horror that stole across his features was so funny it… no… it was not worth what had put it there… but it was still funny. Allowing my eyebrow to arch, I turned back to my potion.

"Severus, have you ever been through this before?" Draco asked after a long silence.

"Been through what? Helping a young woman after an assault? Yes. I was Head of Slytherin for some time."

"Is it always like this?"

"I'm not sure what you are asking."

"Well, I have been thinking about what happened. And how many times people I know have done… things like that… And, well, Severus, I have heard the other Death Eaters talking about doing that. They never make it seem like anything more than sex. I guess I never thought it was such a big deal. But that wasn't just sex. Granger is going to be dealing with it for… well… for a long time. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, Draco, it does. And you're absolutely right. Like other Unforgivable acts, rape is one that wounds the soul. Rape is not about sex, Draco. It's about domination, forcing your will on someone who is unwilling, and doing it in a very personal way. Rape is the same thing as the Imperius Curse."

Hearing this, Draco paled even more. It took me a moment to realize why he had that reaction. I had forgotten he had placed Madame Rosmerta under the Imperius Curse last year.

"Severus," he said in a quiet voice, "I had no idea, really, of what kinds of things the Death Eaters did. I grew up believing in blood-purity, but…" and here he broke down into tears. Once more I spared a thought for Dumbledore's sacrifice, hoping that these tears meant it had not been in vain.

Giving him time to compose himself, I finished the potion for Hermione and measured a dose into a vial.

"Draco, please take this to Hermione and see that she drinks it. I have several things I need to do before I return to the Dark Lord. Please send Nena to me after Hermione takes that potion."

With a nod, Draco accepted the potion from me and Apparated to the Refuge.

Quickly I went upstairs to the study and brought out a piece of parchment.

_Minerva,_

_It would take to long to write out what has happened today. I am instead sending you my memories of today. Please store them with the rest of the important memories. Some of what you discover may surprise you; please keep it in mind for the future. I would request that you not inform Potter and Weasley until Hermione is healed, as I feel it should be her decision how and when to tell them. I also do not fancy their attempts at rescue missions._

_Yours in Service,_

_Severus Snape_

I quickly set my wand to my temple and withdrew copies of my memories of today, from finding Hermione to my last conversation with Draco. I decided it was important to include Draco's reaction in the memories so that, if the Order triumphed, there would be some record of his changing heart on file…

Sealing the vial with a green cork, I put it with the note and summoned Nena. I was surprised at how quickly she arrived.

"Nena, here is my letter to the Headmistress, and here is a vial of my memories from today. Please make sure she gets them. If she sends anything back, please give it to Draco to hold for me. You may tell her your own impressions of today and what has been happening, if you wish."

"Yes, Master. Nena will do. Nena is also bringing clothing for the Little Miss form the school."

Gods, I had forgotten about clothing. Poor Hermione, to be raped and left for dead, and then to be left naked even after a rescue…

"Go, then, and quickly."

As soon as she was gone, I left through the Floo.

* * *

**Minerva's Point of View**

I was sitting in my office when Nena popped in with the letter I had been expecting from Severus. She was also carrying a vial. She handed both to me, looking up at me with her large, globe-like eyes.

"Headmistress, Nena has something to be telling you. But Nena thinks it should wait until after you be seeing those memories."

"All right, Nena, I will look at the memories first. Will you come back to this office later tonight?"

"Yes, Headmistress. Nena be having some other things to do now." And with a snap of her fingers, she disappeared.

Shaking my head at the strangeness of our fellow magical brethren, I sat at my desk to read Severus's letter.

It was a short note, although he was correct in assuming I would prefer to witness it for myself. I had no idea what had happened, only that Hermione had been hurt.

With a sigh, I opened that cabinet that contained the Pensieve. With a pang of apprehension, I uncorked Severus's memory vial and emptied it into the stone basin. Without a pause, I touched the surface and felt myself being drawn into the events of the day.

The memory was longer than I anticipated, and when I was finally released, I found myself retching in reaction.

Sitting back behind my desk, I thought about the next step. Hermione would clearly be a while recovering, but Severus could still pass his information through her. For now, the best thing would be to leave her with Draco, probably for both of them. She needed quiet and to be away from the boys, and he needed to see the fallacies he had been raised with. In the long run, this may turn out to be a gift. Draco would be able to provide interesting testimony if we won the war, especially if he ended up feeling remorse about the way he had been raised…

I decided that for now, I would let things run their course.

* * *

**Draco's Point of View**

Today has possibly been the most upsetting day I have lived through. It's hard to say for sure, of course. And maybe it only seems so upsetting because it is the immediate present. There was a time when I thought that having my image of the Dark Lord shattered when he turned his wand on me was the worst day of my life. But having the image of my father shattered… I think that was worse.

Don't get me wrong, I have always known that my father hated muggles and all things associated with them. I have always known he raped and murdered without much consideration.

I just had never seen first hand what being raped did to a woman.

It had hurt when Severus likened the Imperius Curse to being raped. I had cast that curse myself last year. It hadn't seemed to have the same kind of effect on the barmaid, though, as the rape had on Hermione.

I often wonder why I agreed to any of it. I had no real desire to be a Death Eater. Or rather, I liked the power being a Death Eater brought me within Slytherin, but I didn't really want to be a Death Eater. I just didn't ever think I had a choice in the matter.

It's something that only someone who has grown up in a society family can understand.

One of the things I had always resented about the Golden Trio was the choices they had ahead of them.

What classes to take, what career to try for, whom to marry, how many kids they had, what they did on the weekends… hell, everything was open to them. They could do whatever they wanted!

But not me.

I didn't get any say in my life. My father had it all planned out for me.

When I was young, I took comfort in that. As I grew up, I resented it. And I hated the people who didn't have to deal with that kind of family pressure.

But I never rebelled. I followed orders and did what I was asked to do.

When my father was sent to Azkaban, I thought there would be some freedom, even though I resented the fact that Potter had cost me my father. I certainly hated Potter.

But freedom was not to be. In loosing my father, I only gained a more controlling master in my life. One who did not temper his demands of me with love. One you do not rebel against.

I stared down at the vial in my hands. Yet another potion for Granger. But this one was perhaps the worst.

As I looked at the potion in my hands, I realized how many other women my father and his friends had put in this situation. The loss of control, the loss of choice about their own lives.

With a sigh, I went upstairs to check on Granger and give her the potion Severus had prepared.

When I opened the door to the bedroom, I saw that Granger was awake and alone. I noticed her shoulders were shaking and she seemed to be crying.

I have never been known for sensitivity. Dealing with tears has always made me feel out of my depth. This was so far beyond that, I felt at a complete loss. So instead of doing something, I stood there, watching her, feeling like a fool and a voyeur.

Eventually, I couldn't take it any more.

"Granger," I said quietly, catching her attention and causing her to stop crying abruptly. "I have something for you to take." I left my perch by the door and walked fully into the room. I noticed she was still unclothed, although she was fully covered by the bedding.

Blushing, I strode to the wardrobe and grabbed a clean shirt of my own, quickly transfiguring it into a long flannel nightgown. I held it out to her and turned my back while she put it on.

I heard her moving as quickly as she could.

"You can turn around now." Her voice sounded hoarse and scratchy, although I didn't know if it was from weeping or screaming.

I turned slowly.

"Thanks," was all she said.

I nodded at her. I was at a loss for words. I had never thought her attractive. But she currently looked so much worse than I had ever seen her before. While the blood was gone, her eyes and cheeks looked bruised, and the scratches and handprints from her ordeal still stood out against her pale skin.

"Severus made this for you," I said, handing her the vial.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's…" I hesitated. Severus hadn't told me not to tell her, but I was uncomfortable talking about... intimate female matters… "It's to make you start your… ah… menstrual bleeding… just as a precaution…" I know I was blushing. What was it about this situation that kept causing me to blush?

"Oh." She reached for it and quickly downed it in one gulp.

I just stood there like an idiot.

"Do you need anything?" I asked her. I didn't really want to leave her, but we didn't exactly have the type of relationship where I felt comfortable staying, either.

I was very carefully not examining my feelings about her potential answers. I didn't really want to stay with her, but I didn't really want to be alone then, either. I had been alone a lot lately.

"No, I don't need anything immediately. But, if you don't mind staying… I don't really want to be by myself. I'd like some kind of distraction. Do you have any books here?"

Leave it to Granger to ask for books. Although, in this, at least, I could oblige her.

"I do. Severus has given me some things to read. I'll be back in a moment."

I hurried down the stairs and found what I was looking for. A selection of books on potions that increase blood volume.

Returning with my arms laden with volumes, I put the stack on the side of the bed. They were close to me, but also formed a barrier between us.

"Severus has asked me to help him with some research. We are looking for anything about Blood Replenishment that might allow us to lessen the pain that is associated with the current potion."

With the mention of research, her eyes lit up. She quickly grabbed the book on top and began devouring it.

I figured this boded well for us for the next few days while she healed. She could help me read through all the books and we could talk about potions. That should be a safe enough topic.

A safe topic while Granger and I, long-time enemies, had to stay under the same roof.

Maybe we could do this and not kill each other.

Maybe there was hope for the future after all…


	9. Night Falls

**Hermione's Point of View**

I have to admit I was scared to death when I heard Malfoy's voice behind me. If there is anything to banish a moment of self-pity, it is terror.

When I had pulled myself together and turned to face the albino ferret, I was expecting some form of the normal yet random taunts and cruelty that had been the hallmark of our relationship since we were eleven.

So to say I was shocked when instead of rudeness and taunts he blushed and Transfigured me a nightgown, would be a huge understatement.

I surprised myself by asking him to stay. I think it surprised him, too. To be honest, I didn't really want him to stay. Not him. He looked too much like the face in my nightmares, too damn much like his father.

But I really didn't want to be alone with my thoughts, my memories.

If I had answered him honestly, I would have told him that I needed someone who cared about me. I needed my mother, or Molly, or Minerva by preference. They would have understood. If they weren't available, I think Severus would have understood, too, even if I had the frightening suspicion that Severus's understanding would have been from having been forced to inflict this kind of pain on some poor woman… Harry and Ron would have been acceptable as a substitute. While they would have been clueless to help me, I never doubted that they loved me. Of course, they would have taken one look at me and left to pursue revenge, deciding for me that that's what I needed most, and leaving me once again alone with my thoughts and memories…

Ron. My heart ached at the thought of Ron. God. He would not react well to this. Not at all. I hoped that he would support me, but a small part of me wondered if he would blame me for what had happened in his hurt at his inability to protect me. Otherwise, he would probably blame Severus for not protecting me. Which would be unfortunate, as I suspected that Severus already blamed himself. At least in part.

But, Malfoy? No. I didn't really want him with me. He met none of my criteria. He didn't understand. Not really. He certainly didn't care about me. Quite the opposite.

When I asked if he had any books, he didn't seem surprised in the slightest. I supposed I was being a bit stereotypical of myself. Imagine, the Bookworm being comforted by books…

He presented me with an interesting challenge, though. Research. I could never resist research.

With a research question firmly in mind, I dug into the pile of tomes, finally finding a way of forgetting, if only temporarily, what had happened.

It was engaged in the pursuit of knowledge that Nena found us when she returned from Hogwarts, burdened with my trunk.

With what was perhaps my first smile since I had arrived at the Shrieking Shack that afternoon, I fell on the trunk, pulling up the lid and digging through the possessions she had brought me.

My first thought was an immediate need for clean knickers.

Even though the nightgown Malfoy had created for me was high-necked and long, literally covering me from my chin down to the floor, leaving only my hands exposed, I felt naked without knickers.

I also dug out a pair of pajama pants made of a soft cotton flannel, a Muggle sports bra, and last year's Christmas jumper from Molly.

"I'll wait in the hall," Malfoy said, clearly seeing that I was desperate to feel clothed in normalcy.

Looking up at him, I nodded, and once he had shut the door behind him, I wasted no time in changing into my comfortable clothing. Deciding that the jumper may eventually be too warm, I added a tee-shirt layer, before climbing back into the bed and calling out to Malfoy to come back in.

Slowly, he pushed the door open, and seeing me once more huddled under the covers, came fully back into the room.

* * *

**Draco's Point of View**

Seeing Granger dressed again, I felt a bit better. She looked more like her old self, ready to take on the world.

I took my seat beside the bed again, and looked at her for a moment.

"Granger, you're going to need another coat of salve on your face. The bruises aren't completely gone."

"Hmm," was her only reply.

"Can we talk for a minute?" I asked her.

She put her book down and looked at me, clearly waiting for me to continue.

"Granger, I need to know what your plans are now. And what, if anything, you want me to do, to help you."

The look of surprise on her face was priceless.

"Why, Malfoy? Why do you want to help?"

"Does there have to be a reason?"

"If you were anyone else? No, probably not. But for you? Yes. Malfoy, I need to know why you would want to help me. What's in it for you? Why are you being nice to a Mudblood?"

"Don't call yourself that."

"Why not? You've been calling me that since we were twelve. Your father called me that, too. It's what I am in the wizarding world, after all."

"Granger," I could see the tears forming in her eyes again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about being a prick all these years and for what my father did to you. Please, don't cry anymore…" Gods, I was pleading with her. I didn't think I could take another round of tears.

Unfortunately, my pleading seemed to have the opposite effect, and a loud sob escaped her.

I moved without conscious though. Pushing the pile of books to the floor, I gathered Granger in my arms and held her while she cried, gently rocking her. After a few minutes, although it seemed like hours had passed, she quieted. During the entire interlude, I didn't speak, didn't offer any words or sounds of comfort. It was eerily silent as her noises went from sobs, to sniffles, to silence.

Becoming self-conscious, I gently began to pull away, realizing where I was and who I was with. I was unsure what was appropriate behavior in these circumstances, especially with someone I had such a… strange relationship with.

Apparently, she felt me being to distance myself, because a moment later, she pulled back, too. Scrubbing the tears from her face on the large maroon jumper she was wearing, she looked seven instead of seventeen.

"Granger, it's late, and a lot has happened today. Let me get Nena to give you your last dose for the day, and then you should try and rest."

"Malfoy, where will you be?" she asked, nervously.

"I'll make up a bed across the hall. If you need anything, just shout. Nena will hear you."

She nodded in response as Nena, apparently hearing her name through some previously-unknown elf-sense, came into the room with several vials for her to drink and another pot of salve.

With a nod to the house-elf, I retreated.

It did not take me long to use some tissue from the restroom to Transfigure another bed and bedding for myself, and before long I was trying desperately to get comfortable. A lot had happened that day; I hadn't been lying to Granger.

I was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I awoke from my dream that night shaken. I had dreamed of Severus carrying Hermione's broken form into the house again and again, the blood dripping down her fingers and pooling on the floor. Over and over, the bright red blood everywhere.

It was in my dreams that I realized that Hermione's blood looked the same as mine.

I was shocked at this simple realization.

For years, I had called her Mudblood, dirty blood, thinking that somehow, her blood was different.

Today I had seen enough of it to know how wrong I had been.

It was human blood.

Deeply troubled by the pain I had caused, I fell back into a restless sleep.

I woke up again in the middle of the night to the sound of moaning.

For a moment, I didn't remember where I was. As my brain caught up with the events of the past day, I remembered the changes that had added to the population of the Refuge.

With that remembrance, I recognized what the moaning had to mean.

Quietly, I got out of bed and wandered across the hall to what had until yesterday been my bedroom. The noises were clearly coming from inside. Reaching for my wand, I muttered, "Lumos."

I silently pushed open the door and saw the small form on the bed tossing and turning, clearly in the grip of a nightmare.

I padded over to the bedside, and reached out a tentative hand.

"Granger," I called softly.

She didn't respond.

Bending over her prone form and gently grasping her shoulder, I shook her slightly. "Granger," I called louder.

She awoke with a start, sitting upright, a soft yelp coming from her.

Her eyes found me in the half-dark , and she shrieked, pulling back as far from me as she could. "Get back!" she yelled.

"Granger, you were having a bad dream."

"Stay away!"

"Granger, I'm not going to hurt you," I said, still holding my wand.

She eyed me warily, seeming to remember where she was. Her eyes kept flicking to my wand, as if she expected me to curse her with it.

"Nox," I said quietly, putting my wand in my back pocket. As soon as the light went out, I heard her muffled sob. I was torn between exasperation and pity. "Granger, if was only a dream. You're safe. Nothing and no one is going to hurt you here."

"I know," came out of the huddled mass on the beds as she tried to talk while she was crying, a loud catch in her voice. "It's just, well, I was dreaming about what happened, and then you woke me up, and well, you look so much like your father, and I couldn't tell if it was real or a dream. I'm sorry I woke you up. You should go back to bed. I'm not worth all this trouble."

For a moment, I didn't know how to respond, confused at why she pointed out I looked like Lucius.

Everyone knew I looked like him. In fact, Mother used to joke that seeing me was like seeing him as a teenager all over again.

There was a time when I would have been flattered. Lucius was a handsome man, after all, and had never lacked for female company.

Then my sleep clogged brain realized that she wasn't giving me a compliment.

She was saying that when she looked at me, she saw her rapist.

I wanted to be sick.

Stumbling, I fled the room and her presence, taking the stairs two at a time until I found myself in the basement potions lab.

In a daze, I spent the rest of the night preparing ingredients for a Draught of Peace and brewing. Severus hadn't asked me to brew anything lately, but I could not sit idle, I needed to be busy.

I didn't stop until I saw the sun peeking through the windows at ground level.

Finally feeling both my physical and mental exhaustion, I went back to my new bedroom and collapsed into the bed, praying for oblivion.

* * *

**Severus's Point of View**

The next morning I Apparated to the Refuge fairly early. I had heard quite a bit from my fellow Death Eaters about what had happened the day before and had been hard pressed not to betray my cover in a fit of righteous wrath.

I had realized last night that the top priority to getting Hermione healed would be replacing her wand. She was not a functional witch without it.

Now, this would not be an easy proposition. Neither Draco nor I could openly accompany her. The Refuge was not linked to the Floo Network, and though my home was, I had not imparted it's Secret to her. To make matters worse, she shouldn't go wand shopping alone, as she would be unprotected, but if anyone other than Draco or I went, she would have to either lie to them about how she had lost her wand or tell them the truth, which I didn't think she was ready for.

No, this was not the simple task it sounded like at the outset.

The Refuge was silent when I arrived, and I decided to make my way upstairs to the room I had left her in the day before.

When I poked my head in the door, I saw that Hermione was sleeping in the middle of the bed, the covers twisted around her legs like she had engaged in a restless night of sleep. She was wearing an odd assortment of clothing, topped by a maroon jumper that had to have been made by Molly.

Seeing her there, so peaceful and yet defenseless, my heart went out to her. She looked so young, and had suffered through so much.

I must have made some noise, because he eyes snapped open and quickly found me in the doorway.

"Severus?" she asked.

"Yes, Hermione."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were healing, and to talk to you about replacing your wand."

"Oh…" I noticed tears forming in her eyes. "I have been trying to decide how to go about that. I admit I am at a loss."

"So far, I had thought I could give you the Secret to my home. I will then Apparate you there. From my home, we can Floo to Diagon Alley. I will go with you, under my invisibility cloak, and you can purchase a wand. Alternatively, you can Floo from Diagon Alley to Headquarters, and then get Mr. Potter or Mr. Weasley to go with you. Of course, if you do that, you may have to make a lot of explanations. It is up to you who you would prefer as a shopping partner. I only ask that you not Floo to or from my home from anywhere private, as it would be too easy to trace."

"Thank you for thinking this all through. I would be relieved if you would consent to go shopping with me under your cloak. I don't want to talk to Harry or Ron yet, and you're right that I am not ready to go alone. When can we go?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, so eager to get a wand that she forgot she was still in pajamas. "Perhaps you would like to bathe and change into robes?" I asked her.

I was amused at the blush that stained her cheeks.

I nodded to her. "I will inform Draco of the plans. As soon as you are ready, come downstairs and we will go. I would prefer to have this settled by lunch time when Diagon Alley becomes crowded and difficult to move through in an invisibility cloak."

With that, I turned and exited the room so that she could proceed.

I heard some soft snores coming from the room across the hall, and realized Draco must still be asleep there. Knocking, I opened the door and went inside.

"Draco," I said in an attempt to wake him.

He awoke with a start, going for his wand. Seeing it was me, he calmed quickly.

"Severus."

"Draco, I am going to take Hermione to Diagon Alley to replace her wand. I do not know if she will return here or if she will want to return to her friends. I am leaving that decision to her, and not mentioning it until after she is armed. But before I invite her to return here, I wanted to see how you were fairing together. After all, she does have other options…"

"I… Severus, I won't lie. It's been hard to be here with her. She had nightmares last night, even through the Dreamless Sleep Draught she took."

I was shocked to hear this. She must have been even more traumatized than I had realized to dream through that particular potion.

"I went and woke her, and she thought I was my father," Draco confessed. I knew that Draco had at one point idealized his father, it was one of the reasons I had despaired of ever getting through to him. He looked so broken this morning, though, that I had do wonder what he wasn't saying.

"And?" I asked.

"I had bad dreams, too."

"Ah." I decided not to push.

"So, may I offer her refuge here, too? Or do you prefer the solitary existence?"

"Severus, I won't deny that having her here would be difficult. But at the moment, I am willing to have her here, if she feels that she would prefer to remain."

"All right, then. I will give her that option. Do you want or need anything from Diagon Alley while we are out? It will be a rare opportunity to have someone to do the shopping today."

"No, all of my wants are met."

I nodded at Draco, for the first time seeing him as a man. I was proud of my godson, although I couldn't and wouldn't tell him that.

"We'll be back soon, then."

And with that I went downstairs to await Hermione.

* * *

**A/N: Please submit a review and let me know what you think...**


	10. Armed and Dangerous

I decided that if I was going to be in Diagon Alley without arousing suspicion, I needed to take care of my appearance. Not a lot, mind you. I'm not one of those girls. But I also couldn't go without at least washing my face and putting on clean clothing.

As I stood in the bathroom, I was surprised at how I looked. Other than some faint bruising I looked almost normal. Pale and with dark smudges under my eyes, to be sure, but not the way I expected. Not changed. Not shattered. Harry and Ron probably wouldn't even notice something was wrong if they saw me like this. Of course, boys are not known for their skills at observing changes to the female appearance unless it has to do with the size of breasts…

I had to admit to myself that I felt a bit better after I swiped a soapy rag over my face and brushed and braided my hair.

I changed into clothing that was a bit baggy and was definitely of Muggle origin for the trip, but I was comfortable in it, and didn't much care if people knew I was Muggle-born. It was no great secret, after all.

I had not left the room I had been deposited in except to go to use the facilities, so I had no idea where I might find Severus.

Feeling a little strange to be wandering around a strange house, I none the less thought I could hear voices coming from downstairs.

I made my way down the staircase and found Severus in the living room conversing with the house-elf that had healed me last night.

Hearing my tread on the stairs, Severus looked up and saw me waiting in the doorway.

I was not sure what reaction to expect from Severus. Maybe some snarky comment about the clothing I had chosen, or perhaps about his having to rescue me like he was some Gryffindor, or something classically Snape.

I was therefore stunned that his only reaction was a quirk of the lips and a half-nod in my direction.

"Are you ready, then?" he asked.

I nodded.

"All right. I will Apparate us to my home and get my cloak. We will then Floo to the Leaky Cauldron. I will try to keep my hand on your shoulder while we are out. If you do not feel it, stop walking until I can catch up with you again. We will go directly to Ollivanders to get you a wand. His nephew is minding the shop these days."

"I need to go to Gringotts first."

"Ollivanders will be able to set up a transfer. I want you armed as soon as possible."

I nodded.

Snape quirked an eyebrow at me, but when I didn't respond he just sighed and took my arm.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I nodded again.

The next thing I knew, I was experiencing the squeezing feeling of Side-Along-Apparition.

Fortunately, it was over quickly, and I found myself in a book-lined sitting room. Severus was already disappearing under the folds of an invisibility cloak.

"There is Floo powder in the pot on the mantel. I will go first, but make sure you follow immediately."

And with that, I saw his hand sneak out of the cloak, grab some powder and cast it into the hearth. "The Leaky Cauldron," rang out in Severus's rich baritone, and a flash of green fire followed. I wasted no time in following him.

The Leaky Cauldron was as I remembered it. It was a strange to feel so different, so changed, and yet for everything to look the same.

As soon as I stepped from the fireplace, I felt a gentle hand press between my shoulder blades, guiding me towards the door. The pub was neither crowded nor empty; busy enough that Tom didn't try and stop me to talk, but empty enough that Severus shouldn't have trouble negotiating it in his cloak.

We reached the door without mishap, and made our way down the street to Ollivanders.

When we arrived at the store, I noticed we were not alone. There was a young man behind the counter assisting another customer in finding a wand.

"How did this happen?" The young man asked.

"Broke it in a scuffle," came the grunted reply.

"Ah," was all that was said.

I didn't want to look at the other wizard too closely, feeling distinctly naked without a wand of my own, even though I was fully dressed. The voice had sounded familiar in some way, although I couldn't place it. It had not escaped my noticed that Severus's fingers had tightened on my back at the sound of the voice, either.

It didn't take long for the clerk, who I assumed was Ollivander's nephew, to find a wand that suited the wizard, since he knew what sort of materials would suit the customer. Apparently, replacing a wand was much faster than finding one for the first time.

It wasn't until the wizard was finished and turned around to leave that I got a good look at his face. I was shocked and thus failed to control the quick intake of breath that marked my recognition.

It was Nott.

In the same instant, he recognized me as well, although he seemed hesitant to publicize his recognition of me, choosing instead to leer at me, angled such that the clerk didn't catch it. Severus did, though, and the grip he had of my shoulder blade became almost painful.

Moments later, it was over, Nott having left the shop to the tinkling of the bell over the door.

The clerk turned his large eyes on me. "What can I do for you, miss?"

"I need a new wand."

"Broken?" he asked.

"Yes." I didn't elaborate.

"Seems to be the day for it. Last fellow broke his, too. Right then, what are we replacing?"

"Vinewood and unicorn hair," I answered, almost choking. I didn't want him making any more connections about me and the previous customer… I also was having a difficult time keeping tears from my eyes. My wand had been a friend, seeing me through so many scrapes and near-death experiences, that it felt I missed it as much as I would have missed Harry or Ron had they been broken beyond repair.

"We'll start there, then." He stood from his stool and went to his shelves, finding a box and returning to stand in front of me. Opening the box, I saw that the wand it contained looked identical to the one I had been mourning.

Picking it up, I gave it a swish, but nothing happened.

"Hmm," the clerk said. Seems that you have changed a great deal since you got your first wand. Recent Hogwarts graduate?"

"Yes." No need to tell him that I had graduated a year early, and really, graduated was the wrong word…

He looked me closely in the eye. "Any major life changes? Difficult situations that may have affected your magical core?"

"Maybe." I wasn't about to tell him what had happened to me since I was eleven. Difficult situations? I was torn between wanting to laugh in his face and hurry to Hogwarts library to start research the types of life changes that affect magical resonance with wand cores.

"Right then. We'll have to open the field a bit." He went to a shelf and brought forth a new box. "Mahogany and unicorn." I picked it up and swished, but still got nothing.

"Hmm. Try this, vinewood and phoenix feather." I tried again, but still got nothing more than weak sparks.

"All right, give this one a wave," he said, carrying another box from some one of the furthest shelves. "Vinewood and dragon heart-string."

I picked this wand up and immediately felt a tingle as my fingers closed around the shaft. I didn't even need to swish it to know this was the one. However, I did swish it, so that the clerk and Severus could see what I already knew.

"I think this is the one," I said aloud as a shower of sparks flew from its tip.

"Indeed, it seems a good match," he said as he began to draw up the sales slip. A moment later he handed it to me to sign, beginning a transfer of funds from my Gringotts vault.

In next to no time, I was heading out the door to Ollivanders in possession of a new wand, Severus's hand once again on my back.

"Do you need anything else while we are here?" he whispered in my ear.

"No," I whispered back.

"Then let's return to the Refuge."

I nodded, and a moment later, Apparated back to the place which in so short a time was beginning to feel like home.

When we returned to the Refuge, Draco had managed to get up and I could hear him bumping around in the basement potions lab. Severus and I took seats at the kitchen table, both of us subdued after our trip. I could tell that we were about to have a discussion, but I wasn't sure of the topic, always an uncomfortable feeling when dealing with the one-time potions master of Hogwarts.

"Draco," Severus called out, lest he hear us and think the Refuge had been infiltrated, "we have returned."

A moment later, I could hear his footsteps on the stairs as he joined us.

He moved into the kitchen and seemed to notice the air of tension that hung over the table. With a wary glance at Severus, he sat and joined us.

"Granger, did you get a wand?"

"Yes."

"We also ran into someone at Ollivanders. It seems that Hermione's continued existence is no longer a secret."

"Who?" Draco asked.

"Nott," Severus answered him.

Draco turned to me and saw that I had paled at the mention of one of my attackers.

"Bloody hell."

"Language, Draco," Snape reproved him sternly.

"So, Granger, what now?"

"I'm sorry?" I asked him, not understanding the question.

"What are you going to do now? What option are you going to take?"

He seemed tense, as though he didn't know how he wanted me to answer his question. It didn't help that I still had no idea what he was asking, and so continued to look at him blankly.

"I believe that my Godson is trying to ask you what your plans are now that you are again a functional witch with a wand. Do you wish to stay here? Return to Hogwarts and Minerva? It may not be a bad idea to let Poppy look at you. Or will you go to… ah… Harry and Ron."

It seemed that he didn't want to say Headquarters in front of Draco, which was all right since I knew what he meant.

But his clarification again left me confused.

I hadn't thought about what I should do now, and I could feel myself beginning to panic, the blood draining from my face.

"Granger, calm down." Draco said, apparently noticing my distress. "Would it help you to talk about the options? Maybe make a list of pros and cons?"

I nodded, not quite trusting myself to talk.

Draco was looking at me oddly, as if he wasn't sure who I was as he got me paper and a quill.

"So, the Refuge," he started. "Pros… you'd be with people who already know what happened and so won't press you for explanations. You have access to whatever you need through Nena, and now that you have your own wand, you should be capable of getting anything you're missing. It's safe, and you don't have to worry. Cons… you're away from your friends, out of the loop and unreachable. And you're with me."

I had been writing down the things he was saying and had agreed with his classifications, until he listed himself.

Was being around Malfoy a bad thing? There was a time I would have said yes without any further thought. But that was before I had spent the last day with him. He had been strangely protective of me… kind even. Gentle? Yes. When he had Transfigured me a nightgown, put me in his own bed, and when he had held me as I cried… he was not the Malfoy I had known at Hogwarts. But he wasn't one of my best friends, either. Not someone who knew me better than I knew myself. So being with Malfoy was both good and bad. I didn't know yet where he would fall in the final accounting.

I went ahead and put it in the con column the way he had listed it, but after a moment's thought, I put both his name and Severus's in the pro column as well. This caused raised eyebrows on both of their faces which I chose to ignore.

"Hogwarts," I said, continuing with the list. "Pros… Minerva, Poppy, and the library. Cons… I would be alone much of the time, and I don't think I'm ready for that. It would be hard for Severus to contact me."

"Not really," Severus said. "We would just use Nena as a go between. But I do agree that you are not ready to spend nights in Gryffindor tower alone."

I decided that Hogwarts was a bad choice. I needed someone close enough to wake me from a nightmare.

With a nod, I continued the list, "Headquarters…" but stopped at the sound of a quickly indrawn breath from Severus. He was looking at Draco as Draco was looking at the table, not meeting my eyes.

"Malfoy, you have to be aware that there is an organized movement against Voldemort. I can't imagine you not being aware that Harry, Ron, and I are part of it. The movement has a headquarters, and the boys and I often stay there." I was looking him straight in the eye, daring him to challenge my assertions.

He didn't, he just nodded. "It makes sense. I didn't know, but I'm not surprised, either."

"Severus, I didn't tell him anything he could use to find it. Relax. Besides, if Malfoy wanted me dead, well, I would be. After all, you left me here with him."

Severus frowned at that, but nodded.

"Right then, Headquarters… pros… Minerva can contact me easily, Harry and Ron are there, and it's as safe as the Refuge. Cons… Severus has trouble contacting me there, I don't have access to medication, and Harry and Ron are there."

"Potter and Weasley are a con?" Draco asked.

"Yes. They will know something is wrong and hound me until I tell them what happened. Then they will declare personal war on the four Death Eaters involved and run off to try and collect their revenge. Never mind that it should be my revenge and I want to collect it in my own sweet time. Meanwhile, in their blindness, they will likely get themselves killed. The other possibility is that when Ron finds out what happened, he will blame me and call me names since he's still mad at me from our break-up. That's not as likely on the one had, or it wouldn't have been had they found me. But now that I'm mostly healed and don't have injuries to show for what happened, it becomes more likely with each day."

"Surely you're joking," Draco said, looking appalled.

"Ah… no. I can't imagine them acting in any other way."

"Gryffindors," Severus said to Draco, "react first and then think about the consequences."

"Excuse me? That may be true, and it my have some liabilities. But it is not without its benefits, too. Sometimes, the way a Gryffindor reacts first saves not only the Gryffindor, but others as well." I was getting irritated. Sure, the probable reactions of my best friends were irritating in their own right, but I understood them. After all, I was a Gryffindor, too.

"Anyway, after almost thirty years of observing Gryffindors at their best, I would agree with Hermione. Those are likely the only two possible scenarios from her friends. It is only exacerbated by the fact that she is female and was attacked in a sexual way, and that her friends are male."

"Severus, Gryffindors do not own the title to that reaction. Case in point, you brought me here."

"Touché."

"Regardless of who acts the most impulsively in times of stretch, Granger, what do you want to do?"

I thought about my options for a moment and looked at the carefully blank expressions on the faces of the two Slytherins. For a moment I thought about using Legilimency on them, or rather on Malfoy since I doubted I could get through Severus's walls, but decided that would be a touch unethical.

Since I knew Severus best and trusted him with my life, I looked at him longest. He seemed to be avoiding eye contact with me. At first I thought it was because he didn't want me to read him, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed that he didn't want to influence my decision.

Knowing that Slytherins favored a somewhat twisted logic, I tried to look at this from Severus's perspective, trying to figure out what it was he wanted me to do but didn't want to ask me to do.

He didn't want to ask me… because he didn't think I'd want to… well, I had good reasons not to want any of my options. But still, which would have the most benefit for him? Staying with Malfoy at the Refuge, obviously. It would be the easiest place for him to contact me. But that wasn't a devious enough reason for him to be avoiding my gaze. So, assume he wants me to stay here with Malfoy, what reason could there be that he wouldn't want me to know?

Stay with Malfoy… Malfoy? Could Malfoy be the reason?

I would be the first to admit that the Draco Malfoy I had been around for the last day was not the same evil obnoxious git I had been subjected to at Hogwarts.

I had always known that Severus favored Malfoy. I had learned in the last few days that he not only favored him, but liked him, cared for him, maybe even loved him as the son he had never had. After all, only love would lead someone to take the kind of risks Severus had taken for Malfoy.

So why would Severus want me to stay with Malfoy? Malfoy and I have hated each other for as long as we have known each other… six long years of mutual antagonism.

I looked around me, taking in the state of the Refuge and realized that Malfoy had been there alone, with no contacts other than an occasional visit from Severus and a house-elf.

So, apparently Malfoy was lonely, possibly depressed, and Severus seemed to think that having me there would be good for him. That may not be all of what the once Head of Slytherin was thinking on the subject, but it was probably the high points. And he wouldn't want to ask me to stay with Malfoy. But I knew all at once that this was exactly what he wanted to happen.

"Malfoy, would you mind terribly if I stayed here? At least for a few more days while I figure some things out, like what to tell the boys? I don't want to put you out or impose on your hospitality, but I think this is the best option for now…"

Malfoy looked at me and I could clearly see the gears turning in his brain.

"That would be fine, Granger, if you want to stay."

"Thank you. If you wouldn't mind, I think I need a nap after the excitement of this morning."

"If you're not up, I'll wake you for dinner," Malfoy said as I stood up.

I just nodded in response and went up to the bedroom where I had slept the previous night.

Carefully putting my wand on the table next to the bed, I changed back into my pajama pants and a tee-shirt and quickly fell asleep feeling better than I had since this whole horrid fiasco had begun.


	11. Understandings

I don't know why I slept so peacefully. Maybe I had gained some security in the knowledge that I once again had a wand under my pillow. Maybe my peace was due to the lists I had made with Severus and Malfoy. Or maybe I was just exhausted.

It didn't matter, though. For whatever reason, I slept for a time and awoke refreshed; I felt more like myself, and I thought I might be ready to face the future now.

Quietly, I went downstairs. I figured that either I would find Malfoy or Snape there, or that Malfoy would be asleep upstairs and so by going to the lower floor, I would be less likely to disturb him.

I was therefore shocked to walk into the kitchen and find Malfoy cooking on a Muggle stove. He seemed surprised to see me up, but he smiled at me.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"A bit."

"I'm not much of a cook," Malfoy said.

"Honestly, I'm shocked you know how to cook at all." I couldn't help but remember his reaction to chores at Hogwarts that he considered beneath him, calling them 'servant stuff.'

Malfoy's response to my amazement was a smirk, though.

Within moments, I was sitting at the table with a plate in front of me containing the fruits of Malfoy's labors. While the food wasn't up to the standards of Molly Weasley, I thought Malfoy had become a surprisingly good cook.

Hungry, I polished off my food in short order, getting up to take my plate to the sink where it began washing itself.

I resumed my seat at the table and turned my attention to my roommate.

"So…" I started.

"So…" Malfoy echoed.

I sighed. "You know, I feel like my whole world has been turned upside down."

"That might be because it has been."

I smiled at that, since I thought he was probably right. "You know, I feel like I don't know you at all. I mean, these last couple of days, well, you don't seem much like the boy I knew at school…" I trailed off.

"That might be because I don't much feel like that boy."

I looked closely at Malfoy, something I had always avoided as it had often set him off on a rant about my lineage fouling the very air around him. He looked pale… well… paler than usual, and he had dark circles under his eyes. I got the impression he hadn't been sleeping much, and for a moment I felt guilty for evicting him from his bedroom.

"Malfoy, how are you holding up?"

"What kind of question is that, Granger?"

"Well, you don't look like you've been getting your required amount of beauty sleep."

For a moment, he stared at me. I realized that had probably sounded pretty offensive and opened my mouth to apologize, but he cut me off.

"I haven't been sleeping well," he admitted quietly.

Immediately, I was concerned. It seemed so unlikely that he would confide in my like that.

"Why not?" 

"Dreams… bad dreams."

My concern changed to shock. Bad dreams? Malfoy was capable of suffering over bad dreams? I quickly reined in my uncharitable thoughts. Of course Malfoy could have bad dreams. That shouldn't surprise me. After all, he'd been unable to kill Dumbledore. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that if anyone had experienced enough horror to have bad dreams, Malfoy was as likely a candidate as any of us Gryffindors in the Order.

"Did you want to talk about them?" I asked him. I didn't really want to hear about his nightmares; I had enough of my own. But it was impossible for me to not offer to hear him out. It went against everything I was to not try and help someone in need, and this was someone who had done so much for me, even if I tried to forget it most of the time.

"No."

I nodded in acquiescence. "The offer stands, if you ever change you mind."

"Thanks, Granger. But somehow, I don't think they're something I should discuss with you."

I tried to not take offense at that statement. I really did. Unfortunately, my already distraught state didn't allow me to ignore it. "No, of course not. I couldn't possibly understand the horrors of your life, since mine has been so charmed," I said sarcastically.

Draco bristled at my response. "I'm just trying to protect you, you stupid Mu—" he stopped himself. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to regain his composure. "I'm sorry. I'm short on sleep and not as in control as I usually am."

"Meaning you still think _that_ about me, but usually manage to censor what you say?" I asked, righteous anger flaring in me for the first time since… _it_ had happened.

"No! Meaning that—Gods, I don't even know what I mean anymore. You're not the only one whose world has been turned upside down, you know. I was still adjusting to my new life when Severus showed up with _you_ and Gods, everything changed _again_! I have gone from being the heir of the oldest, wealthiest wizarding family in Britain to being a refugee, hiding in this old shack. I went from being the youngest Death Eater, a position of honor, to a failure, asked by my godfather to brew potions for the enemy! And you're the enemy! But you're here and hiding, too! And if that's not enough, I feel sick knowing what happened to you… happened at the hand of my own father!" He paused for breath, but I cut him off.

"Draco," I said softly. It was the first time I'd used his given name, and it seemed to work at stopping him in his tracks. "I'm not sorry that all this has happened to you. If it hadn't… if it weren't for you and Severus, I'd be dead now. I'm sorry that everything that has happened has caused problems for you, but… well… I'm starting to come to think of you as a friend, and that wouldn't have been possible before."

At that moment, a throat cleared, startling both Draco and myself. We whipped around, drawing our wands to see Severus leaning against the doorway to the kitchen.

"We need to talk," he said.


End file.
